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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24246967">yours, truly</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pendragonpants/pseuds/pendragonpants'>pendragonpants</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Endeavour (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Case Fic, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Injury Recovery, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Smut, Period-Typical Homophobia, Peter Jakes Didn't Leave Oxford, Peter Jakes Whump, Violence, a smidge of morse whump, jakes! whump, thursday is an amazing dad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:54:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>28,154</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24246967</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pendragonpants/pseuds/pendragonpants</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Morse and Jakes are chasing after the unknown killer who has been causing massive panic. Just as he is about to be apprehended, an unpleasant incident occurs and Jakes is injured. During the time of recovery, Jakes and Morse discover that there may be something more than friendship between the two of them. Morse has to balance out his need for justice and his newfound feelings.</p><p> </p><p>i have been reading quite a few jarse fics recently, and discovered a lot of fics where there is morse whump and i wondered if there could be some role reversal where Morse is super protective and Jakes is hurt.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Jakes/Endeavour Morse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Safety Pin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw: injury and blood</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a late night down at the station, the second hand on the clock steadily ticking. It was half-past eleven, not a usual time for most people to be down at the station. However, the recent cases of suspected murder usually occurred around midnight, and with bodies being found frequently, Chief Inspector Bright had decided that a few officers would stay in, just in case a call came in. </p><p>Jakes was sitting at his desk, absentmindedly twirling his pen in his hand, staring out into space, thoughts wandering about. He looked around at the sparse number of people around him, Morse, Strange and a couple of other officers, thinking about what they might be thinking of.</p><p>Jakes most certainly did not want to be here, not when he could be down at the pub having a pint, or just at home taking a break. Ever since the number of mutilated bodies increased, everyone at the station had been working overtime.</p><p>It was good having Morse around, that man was practically a genius, although Jakes would probably never admit that. He had once joked that if Morse went over to the “other side”, they would be damn well screwed. It had gotten a few chuckles out of people, but Morse just gave him a tight-lipped smile, clearly unamused.</p><p>Morse was a man of mystery to Jakes, he could not figure out what went on in that head of his. His crazy theories that seemed implausible suddenly making sense, his addiction to solving cases and bringing justice, it was almost like Morse was a whole station on his own. His unexpected disappearances would one day bring trouble, Jakes thought.</p><p>Thursday’s commanding voice snapped Jakes out of his daydream and Jakes nearly fell out of his chair with surprise. He tried to cover up his embarrassment by taking out a cigarette and lit it. He observed the pack, aimlessly wondering what he would do without them. They were a source of calm for him and an excuse for when he wanted to leave. It was an essential item he carried everywhere he went but that didn’t mean it was good for his health.</p><p>He brought his attention back to Thursday, who was standing authoritatively with a grim expression crossing his face. “There has been a report that another body has been found. Down at Fairfield Street. Morse, Jakes, Strange, let’s go.”</p><p>Morse got up slowly, clearly lost in his own thoughts. Jakes wondered what new theory Morse would come up with. </p><p>The three of them climbed into the black Jaguar and set off for Fairfield Street.</p><p>  *                                                                                                                      

</p><p>They reached Fairfield Street in a couple of minutes and after getting out of the car, there was an immediate chill in the air. Gusts of wind rustled the leaves on the trees, sometimes creating an eerie whistling.</p><p>Jakes pulled up the collar of his coat, rubbing his hands together, trying to gain some warmth from the chill. He looked over at Morse, who was seemingly unaffected by the cold.</p><p>Jakes watched Morse take long strides over to the body, greeting Dr DeBryn with a nod.</p><p>The coppery stench of blood hung heavy in the air and Jakes almost did not want to look at the body. He was never going to admit that he got squeamish sometimes, and always put on a brave or nonchalant facade.</p><p>He saw a couple of officers taking a statement from a woman who looked pretty shaken, she must have been the one to have stumbled over the body. It was unfortunate, having to view these monstrosities. </p><p>“Gentlemen.” Dr DeBryn greeted them, examining the body. Jakes took a double-take, this one was worse than the others he had seen, and he had to repress a shudder.</p><p>“Body was deceased within the past twenty minutes. A single stab wound to the heart was the fatal blow, the carving on the chest and the removal of the kidneys and the liver was done after death. I’ll know more once I open the body. Shall we say tomorrow at 10 am?”</p><p>Thursday watched Dr DeBryn pack up with a morose expression on his face, it had been a long while since there had been such grisly murders. It was most certainly a serious case, unease was rising, civilians were terrified for their safety. There was no link the police could make between the killings, just that they all died from stab wounds and the killer had a habit of removing certain organs or limbs.</p><p>Morse took a look around the area, peering at the darkness. It was not easy to see much as the amber glow of the streetlights did little to lend some light to the pitch-black surroundings.</p><p>Morse suddenly had a realisation, he ran over to Thursday, “Sir, sir! Dr DeBryn said that the body is relatively fresh and since there is no exit out of Fairfield except for the one we came by, and the killer must be around here somewhere. He can’t be that far.”</p><p>Thursday nodded his head in approval before calling out to everyone to be alert and on the lookout for anything suspicious.</p><p>“Morse, Jakes, you lads go take the West side. Let me know if you find anything out of the ordinary.”</p><p>Morse nodded his head, Jakes walking alongside him, smoking yet another cigarette.</p><p>“Who’d you think did it?” He questioned Morse, waiting for some elaborate explanation.</p><p>“Don’t know yet,” Morse said, looking around, not paying much attention to Jakes.</p><p>Jakes wanted to ask more pressing questions but Morse didn’t seem in the mood, so Jakes didn’t push it. </p><p>Suddenly, a sharp movement from around the corner caught his eye.</p><p>“Morse, come on!” Jakes said, immediately running in the direction of it.</p><p>“Jakes! Where are you going?” Morse yelled after him. Jakes could be so impulsive sometimes, Morse thought, he didn’t think things through and instead went straight for it.</p><p>Morse then realised that if that was the killer, Jakes did not have a weapon. Jakes was going after a potentially dangerous person, and he was unarmed.</p><p>Morse ran after him, shouting his name, concern running through his veins.</p><p>*                                                                                                                     

</p><p>Jakes rounded the corner, slowing down as he saw some movement in a dark alley. He smirked, how silly could you be to trap yourself with no way out.</p><p>“Give it up!” He said, voice echoing sharply. It was extremely dark, and it took a while for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.</p><p>Out of the blue, or black, since he could not see anything, someone pushed him against the rough brick wall and there were three quick jabs to his abdomen.</p><p>It did not hurt at first, adrenaline clouding the pain, Jakes tried to reach out and grab the stranger but tripped over some boxes that littered the wet floor.</p><p>He suddenly slumped over, his side bursting with agony. He touched his side, and cried out, his hands coming away wet and crimson red.</p><p>The stranger climbed over the alley wall, loud footsteps receding and eventually disappearing.</p><p>He let out a sick moan, realisation sinking in, he did not even know if Morse knew where he was. Would this be his untimely end? Bleeding out in an alley, stabbed by some maniac.</p><p>Fortunately, he heard someone call out his name. Morse, thank heavens.</p><p> *
                                                                                                                    
</p><p>Morse heard Jakes call out to the person in the alley, that was good, that meant that they had a possible suspect. </p><p>He then heard Jakes cry out and panic set in, he quickened his pace and ran in, seeing Jakes leaning against the brick wall, blood blossoming on his white shirt.</p><p>Morse yelled out, “Call an ambulance! Thursday!” His voice carrying through the silence.</p><p>He helped Jakes up, leading him out of the alley, onto the sidewalk so that people would be able to find them better.</p><p>He pressed his hands against the wound, Jakes emitting a pained cry of anguish, his usually pale face had gone ashen.</p><p>Beads of perspiration popped up on his forehead despite the chill in the air, and his breathing was laboured. </p><p>“Jakes, stay with me, come on, stay with me,” Morse said, his voice comforting to hear.</p><p>Jakes wanted to say he was fine, that he could handle it but all that escaped his mouth was another groan. </p><p>He leaned his head against Morse, breathing heavily, suddenly noticing the smell of Morse’s shower gel. It was fresh, minty and crisp, a wonderful change to the musty, grimy stench of the alley. He never thought how good Morse could look like, his brownish gold curls, that caught the sunlight in the day and how good he looked when he smiled. It definitely suited him more than when he had a serious expression on his face.</p><p>Jakes nearly laughed out loud, he must be delirious, to start thinking about Morse like that.</p><p>His vision blurred, looking up at Morse who looked like nothing but a fuzzy shape. He could hear indistinct voices and the flash of red and blue lights before he felt himself get lifted onto a stretcher and he blacked out, grateful for the momentary escape from the pain.</p><p>                                                                                                                               *</p><p>As Morse watched the ambulance pull away, he noticed his coat and hands were stained stark red. Thursday put a hand on his shoulder, eyes full of understanding and comfort, “He’ll be okay, don’t worry too much now Morse, get home, get some sleep.”</p><p>Morse smiled, thankful to have a partner and mentor like Thursday. He watched the lights of the ambulance disappear into the distance, a sense of dread settling in his stomach. Worry etched across his features. He would visit Jakes tomorrow, and get whoever caused this. He swore by it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>eek this is my first jarse fic so i really hope everyone enjoys it. please let me know what you think of it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Promise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morse sat down in his apartment, filling a glass with whiskey and downing the amber liquid in one go. The bottle was nearly empty, and it was no surprise that he would finish it up tonight. He refilled the glass and swirled the contents, the night’s events replaying in his mind.</p><p>This case had truly stressed him out, there was no visible link or connection he could make, what with minimal clues left behind.</p><p>The only thing that was clear was the way the victims died and that the killer was still at large. Morse massaged his temples, frustration etched across his features. </p><p>He thought about Jakes, and how he must have felt when he was stabbed. Morse knew what it was like when Mason Gull had stabbed him. His side ached when he recalled those events. </p><p>He put on Mozart’s Requiem on his record player and walked over to his window, looking out at the deserted streets and sipped his whiskey, drowning his dread and unhappiness. He sighed, wondering if he had run after Jakes sooner or if he had held him back, that he would not have been wounded. He was anxious, was the knife that pierced Jakes’ side even sanitary? He doubted it, after all, what was the likelihood that the murderer was conscious of the hygiene of his weapons. He only hoped that Jakes would not get an infection. </p><p>Morse did not usually express his emotions and threw himself into work and solving cases, not leaving much space for his own personal life. He had once thought if he would ever end up like Thursday, with a family. However, Morse knew he was not like other men. He did not feel attracted to women, they were good companions of course, but he did not feel a strong enough connection with any of them. </p><p>In that time period, Morse knew that he would be frowned upon and shunned, and so he never revealed anything to anyone. Truthfully speaking, he had not yet found anyone he admired. </p><p>Morse looked at the clock, noting that it was quarter to one, and he decided he would get some sleep. Thursday had told him he was no good to the station fatigued and Morse knew that he should take his advice.</p><p>He shook off his shoes and collapsed on his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking, thinking long and hard about this case. He wanted to solve it sooner rather than later. </p><p>Eventually, his exhaustion seeped in, and he found the blissful relief of respite.</p><p>*</p><p>Sunlight crept through the curtains of the apartment, blinding rays waking Morse up.  He sat up, hair tousled and messy, and he stumbled over to the bathroom, splashing cool water on his face. He leaned onto the sink, looking at himself in the mirror. He looked weary and worn out. As soon as he solved this case, he would take a very much-needed break.</p><p>Morse typically did not take breaks, work was his life and without anything to do, he felt bored. But recently he found himself feeling more tired and he could not concentrate. He felt useless when he could not bring justice. </p><p>A part of Morse wanted to immediately visit Jakes, he was not sure why though, he viewed Jakes as a condescending man, who was a little too snobbish for his liking. He also knew that Jakes did not have the best childhood and pitied him for that. It was unfair to have suffered so much at such a young age.</p><p>He thought about what he would have to do today, hoping that there was nothing going on so that he could see Jakes. He then remembered that he had an appointment with Dr DeBryn at 10 am. He would have to visit Jakes afterwards. </p><p>He threw on his suit jacket and walked out the door, ready to pick Thursday up.</p><p> *</p><p>“Morning, Sir.” Morse greeted Thursday. Thursday gave him a comforting look as if he had read his mind.</p><p>“We will be seeing Dr DeBryn, right Morse?” Thursday queried as he got into the car.</p><p>Morse replied, “ Yes, Sir.” He paused, tugging at his shirt collar, “I have a question. Could I see Jakes after we speak to DeBryn? I’ll get back to the station immediately after.” </p><p>Thursday looked at him with understanding but said, “The only people who are allowed to visit him are family, according to the nurse. I called the hospital this morning.”</p><p>“How is he?” Morse asked, trying not to sound overly panicked. </p><p>“He is stable for now. That is all I know.”</p><p>Morse nodded, turning on the engine and driving towards the hospital, his heart heavy. He was very concerned for Jakes, he wanted to check up on him and share some comforting words and to console him.</p><p>Morse never did like hospitals, the overpowering smell of disinfectant and the eerie quiet in the night. When he was young, he had appendicitis and he had to stay a few nights in the hospital. He would never forget how scared he felt, he did not feel safe in such a place. He remembered when he felt so alone in the darkness, and how he counted the minutes till daylight.</p><p>Hospitals reminded him of death, and as a young boy, he did not want to be surrounded by these horrors. It was his job now though, to face these things head-on. There was no time to be afraid. They have to find the monsters hiding in the dark, and bring light to those in need.</p><p>Since that incident, he always tried to avoid being ill, never wanting to stay another night in such a dreadful place. He wondered what Jakes might be feeling if he even was awake.</p><p>*</p><p>“Gentlemen.” Dr DeBryn greeted them. “ Fifteen stab wounds, the fatal blow was right through the heart. As mentioned yesterday, certain organs such as the kidneys and the liver have been removed. The contents of his stomach consisted mostly of alcohol, so I doubt he had much to eat the whole day. He was probably heading home from the pub.”</p><p>Morse asked, “Anything else?”</p><p>Dr DeBryn paused, he then said, “What I find strange about it is that the cuts are very neat and precise. Almost with surgical precision, I suspect a scalpel or something similar. You see, the organs were not torn out but delicately removed. There does not seem to be a lot of damage to the surrounding tissues.”</p><p>Morse swallowed, feeling slightly ill. He disliked this part of the job, he felt a little nauseous and as an excuse to look away from the body, he walked over to the tray with the man’s belongings.</p><p>Morse took a look at the man’s belongings, taking his eyes away from the lifeless body laying on the metal table. A lighter, a half-empty pack of cigarettes, the same one that Jakes smoked, Morse absentmindedly noted,  the deceased’s wallet and a ballpoint pen. </p><p>The wallet had a couple of notes inside and a few business cards and an identification card that said, Jeremy Garner. Looks like they had a name for this man, Morse felt sympathy for his family.</p><p>“Is there anything suspicious?” Thursday asked, sidling next to Morse.</p><p>Morse shook his head, “Not that I can see so far.” he would have to mull over it for a while and try and make some new connections. </p><p>As they walked out of the morgue, Morse longed to visit Jakes. He was so close, yet so far.</p><p>He would see if he could get off work early and convince the nurse to let him in. He would find a way, after all, he was known to be determined.</p><p>*</p><p>Jakes awoke to a pristine white ceiling and the overwhelming smell of disinfectant. The air was heavy with dread and uncertainties, he realised he was in a hospital bed. He groaned as he tried to sit up, his side burning. Any movement, even minuscule one, caused extreme pain. He surveyed his surroundings, the liquid in the IV drip pattering repeatedly. </p><p>He was unsure of what he was doing there. Slowly but surely, the events of the previous night came back to him. His heart hammered with newfound fear as he was worried if he would be alright. </p><p>He pressed his hands against his head, feeling a headache coming on. He would not deny it, he felt awful. </p><p>He noticed blood had soaked through his bandages and Jakes vaguely noticed a nurse giving him a warm smile before helping him up and redressing the wound.</p><p>As she unwound the once cream coloured bandages, Jakes observed the three swollen, angry red stab wounds, knit together by stitches that stood out against his pale skin.</p><p>He bit his lip and winced as the nurse cleaned the wound, internally panicking. He was not sure how deep the wounds were, and a million other questions ran through his mind. </p><p>He wanted to ask the nurse multiple questions but she strode off, and only paused to give him a reassuring smile and she said, “ If you need anything, just press the call button,” Her tone dripping with sugary sweetness. </p><p>Jakes supposed that that was supposed to be a soothing smile but it came off rather fake but nevertheless, he thanked her. His voice sounded rough and he then realised how parched he was. He took a sip of water from the glass on the bedside and sighed, the cool relief of the water soothing his dry mouth.</p><p>There was nothing he could do now, and no one was visiting him. He felt rather bored now that he was awake, he wished he could fall asleep but the constant throbbing in his side kept him wide-eyed. He was curious to know what had been pierced, hopefully, nothing too serious.</p><p>He looked outside the window, catching a glimpse of people visiting another. He secretly hoped that there were no visitor restrictions as his parents were deceased for a few years now, and he had no siblings. Any other relative of his lived abroad and therefore if only family were allowed to visit, Jakes would be alone for who knows how long.</p><p>He had not even been here a day and yet he wanted to get out already. He wanted to get back to the station, to continue the investigation, to catch the bastard who did this but he knew that he would not be leaving the hospital anytime soon. He did not like hospitals or being confined to a bed. It reminded him all too much of Blenheim Vale. He gave an involuntary shudder when thinking of it. His back twinging as he was reminded of that dreadful afternoon.</p><p>*</p><p>He had never felt so humiliated and afraid as he did on that day. His back was on fire, each blow stinging and splitting the skin. He could feel the warm trickle of blood slide down his back, drops hitting the ground audibly. </p><p>He had wet his pants out of terror, and yet they still persisted, determined to get a name out of him. </p><p>Once he had choked out a name, they sent him off to a doctor. Not out of concern for him, but of the need to maintain the caring appearance. </p><p>The doctor had hastily cleaned the wound and stitched it up without warning. Jakes stifled his sobs, hot tears pouring out of his eyes, and he had bit his lip so hard it had begun to bleed. </p><p>He was terrified that the stitches would reopen and that he would bleed out. He tried to be careful with his movements, warily easing into his bed or just telling the gang that he was not in the mood to play with them. He could not let them find out. </p><p>*</p><p>His breath hitched and he found his heart racing once again. His hands began to tremble and he gripped the handle of his bed so tightly that his knuckles turned white.  He felt his eyes prick with warm tears, the small droplets in the corner of his blue-green eyes threatening to spill out in rivulets.</p><p>Not a panic attack, he thought, please not here, not now. He usually had his panic attacks at home, within the four walls, he felt he had some privacy and that no one would see him reduced to a sobbing mess.</p><p>He had too much pride to tell someone about it and on those occasions when someone at the station noticed him looking sleep-deprived and exhausted, he put it off as being overworked and made jokes about it, leading the person who asked to laugh with him and eventually forget about it. </p><p> It was hard enough now being unable to care for himself in hospital, and now he was on the verge of a mental breakdown.</p><p>He felt too vulnerable now, he felt that his feelings were left open for the whole world to see and he was not comfortable with that. He felt too exposed, nothing shielding him now. He coped well enough before, why couldn't he cope now?</p><p>He tucked his arms around him, trying to console himself. All he wanted now was just someone next to him, telling him it was okay, that they were there for him. That's all he ever wanted and was all he ever needed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope you enjoyed it! i was trying to capture morse's increasing concern for jakes and jakes' fear and uncertainty so let me know if i have achieved that! leave a kudos and comment if you liked it, and feedback is greatly appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Tell Me That You Love Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>here is chapter3! hope you enjoy! i had to stop myself from just jumping right into their relationship as i wanted some time for it to stew, and i hope i'm achieving that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morse leaned back on a desk, staring hard at the images before him. The first victim, Kathryn Cohen, a 33 year old woman who was found at Kensington Road had her heart removed. The second victim was Albert Decker, a law student who was found outside of a pub, left lung gone. The third and fourth were found at the same time at the same location, murdered within minutes of another. They were Jeffrey Hull and Cara Berger, both had their livers removed. The most recent victim was Jeremy Garner, and Morse felt a little queasy looking at the images.</p><p>Each victim had an organ removed, it was a clean removal and done precisely. So far that was what could be confirmed and Morse still had to ponder about what was the link. There was something nagging him from the back of his mind, something about a previous incident but he could not quite put his finger on it.</p><p>It seemed like there was a connection between them, something about the surgical precision and the type of organs removed. Morse snapped his fingers as a realisation came to him. All these organs were applicable for transplants. That was strange.</p><p>He turned away, repressing a shudder. He sat down at his own desk, papers littered messily across as he had tried to find a connection. He could not describe how frustrating it was, being unable to find anything until now. It was a small lead, but at least he had made some type of progress.</p><p>“Morse.” He heard Thursday calling out to him and he gingerly got up, walking towards the Detective Inspector.</p><p>“Yes? What was it that you wanted to speak to me about?”</p><p>Thursday let out a heavy exhale and said, “We have a possible suspect. Gary Simon, a doctor down at the local hospital. The barman down at Fairfield mentioned this chap, said he looked pretty antsy and suspicious. He was in all the areas where the victims were found, and he does not have a solid alibi. I’m giving him some time to sweat it out.”</p><p>Morse said, “I see. And you are sure that it could be him?” Despite the fact that he wanted to close this case as soon as possible, he wanted to ensure that they had the right person. It would do no good if they hung the wrong man.</p><p>Thursday nodded. “Some of the other officers will be going down to his place to do a thorough investigation. Want to join? I am sure that you out of all people will be able to pick up a few clues that the rest might ignore.”</p><p>Morse rubbed his hand against the nape of his neck, face flushing a little, “Ah, I actually have a couple of errands to run. Just have to do some things that are relevant to the case. Might be possible leads.” He lied. He did not feel awfully guilty, he did have a possible lead, and would go and find something related to the case, but not before visiting Jakes. He already had an idea of how he would get into Jakes’ room.</p><p>Thursday raised his eyebrows, looking surprised. It was unlike Morse to turn down an investigation, but Thursday knew that Morse could handle himself and would have a valid reason to skip an investigation so he did not ask any questions. He trusted Morse with his life and knew that he would not have to worry too much about him. </p><p>“Yeah, sure Morse. What time do I expect you to be back?”</p><p>Morse glanced at his watch and said, “I’ll try and be back by half-past four. Cheers.” He turned on his heels and hurried out, trying to quicken his pace but not look too obvious doing so.</p><p>*</p><p>“Hello sir, how can I help you today?” The nurse at the registration table asked Morse. </p><p>Morse gave her a smile and replied, “I’m here to see Peter Jakes.”</p><p>She gave him a sympathetic look and explained that only family were allowed to see him.</p><p>Morse gave a small chuckle and said, “I’m his brother. Care to let me see him?”</p><p>The nurse promptly told him which room he was in and gave him the directions.</p><p>“I trust you can find your way there?”</p><p>“Thanks very much, I’m sure I’ve got it.” Morse walked towards the room, shoes clicking softly against the marble floor. He stopped in front of the door, reaching out for the door handle but paused, contemplating what he should say to Jakes.</p><p>He took a deep breath and exhaled and opened the door, momentarily staring at Jakes. His golden hair that was normally slicked with product was messy and tousled, catching the light in certain places, creating the impression that it was glowing. Jakes’ blue-green eyes stared back at him, a look of surprise crossing his face. </p><p>“Morse!” Jakes said, letting a little excited noise escape his mouth. His initial frown had evolved into a look of utter joy and he smiled, and Morse smiled back. Jakes looked adorable when he smiled, it was a wonderful contrast to his scowls. </p><p>“How are you doing? Alright, I hope.” Morse said, pulling out a chair to sit next to him. </p><p>“I’ve been better, I suppose, hurts quite a bit when I move around. I can’t wait to get out of here already, there isn’t much I can do and I’m going out of my mind with boredom.”</p><p>He paused, reaching out for the half empty glass of water, wincing as he did so, and Morse assisted him by taking the glass and passing it to him, their fingers momentarily brushing, Jakes’ cold ones against Morse’s warm ones. They looked up at one another, Morse letting out an awkward chuckle and Jakes’ face turning slightly red.</p><p>“Thanks. Anyways, how is the case going? Tell me you’ve got a lead.”</p><p>“Thursday says that they’ve got a possible suspect, and they are currently interrogating him down at the station. Some of the other coppers are checking out his place, seeing if there is anything suspicious. There is something strange about the organs that were removed, all of them are applicable for transplants. But that’s all I’ve got to go on, and it could just be a coincidence. I’ll need to get some evidence for it”</p><p>Jakes let out a ‘tsk’ and shook his head, “Damn it. Not much to go on...well I do hope you find something. You have no idea how badly I want to catch the bastard who did this.”</p><p>His hands began to tremble slightly, and a flicker of panic was visible in his eyes. He looked afraid and unlike his confident self. Morse realised that Jakes must have been feeling awfully uncertain and nervous, and he found himself reaching out and holding his hand, gently caressing it with his thumb.</p><p>“You alright? Do you want to tell me anything?” He asked, noticing the slight redness and puffiness of his eyes, either meaning that he had been crying or was about to.</p><p>Jakes initially looked a little startled at the gesture but relaxed into it, nodding.</p><p>“I’m doing alright, there’s no need to worry too much” He swallowed, feeling the prick of tears in his eyes once again and a lump in his throat.</p><p>“I’m glad you’re here Morse, I suppose I just needed someone’s company.”</p><p>Morse was surprised, it was very unlike Jakes to be open with his emotions, and he knew that when he did speak of his feelings, it took a lot of courage for him.</p><p>He replied softly, “I’m happy to be here as well.”</p><p>Neither of them made an effort to pull away from the other, and they sat in silence, Morse feeling Jakes’ eyes on him, and Morse felt slightly self-conscious of his appearance.  He tried to break the silence by starting a conversation.</p><p>“How long do you reckon you’ll be in here?”</p><p>“The doctor said a week to ten days, especially since stab wounds to the abdomen can cause other additional complications. So far there isn’t any infection and I’m just on some antibiotics,” he gestured to the pill bottle on the table beside him. </p><p>“Anyways, do you think you could update me on the case? And if you have the time, I wouldn’t mind if you came round to visit, it gets a bit lonely.” He added.</p><p>“Of course, I was already planning on it. Oh and if you need anything just ring me, ah here is my number.” Morse scribbled his phone number on a piece of scrap paper and handed it over to Jakes.</p><p>“I’ve got to go now, Thursday will be expecting me. I’ll be here tomorrow, and if the nurse asks, I’m your brother.”</p><p>Morse walked out of the room, the sound of his footsteps slowly receding. He felt rather strange but in a good way. He could not quite describe it but it was a pleasant feeling. The lingering cold on his fingertips from Jakes’ hand eventually began to disappear and Morse found himself missing it. </p><p>He felt different after visiting Jakes, he did not feel his usual disdain or annoyance, but happiness and although he was still concerned for him, he had taken a fondness for Jakes. </p><p>Morse did not know it yet, but deep inside, he had a deep regard for him.</p><p>*</p><p>When the door to his room opened and he did not hear the nurse’s annoying chirpy voice or the monotonous drawl of the doctor, Jakes was curious as to who would be visiting him. </p><p>It had been about an hour since he had woken up, and he had spent the time counting the tiles on the spotless floor and observing the small cracks in the wall. </p><p>He was surprised to see it was Morse. In Jakes’ opinion, he was the least likely person to be visiting him. He knew Morse found him irritating but he was still grateful for it, and it had only been a few minutes since his panic attack, and he still felt a little upset. </p><p>Before Morse had come in, a doctor had come in to give him a report of his well-being and he had hastily wiped the tears off his face, worried that the doctor would notice.</p><p>He felt parched and reached out for the glass of water, and a sharp spike of pain arose in his side. He winced, the pain still intense as the doctors had not provided him with any painkillers since his operation. </p><p>He did not want to make it seem like the wound was that bad, but he was unable to mask the grimace that crossed his face.</p><p>He was pleased that Morse had helped him take the glass but when their fingers brushed, Jakes felt a little embarrassed and he felt his cheeks flush and feel warm. </p><p>As Morse updated him on the progress of the case, he was exasperated at the fact that there was no strong link, and he could see Morse was probably feeling the same way. He did not look his best, his expression weary and there were smudges of purple standing out against his pale skin under his eyes. </p><p>He wanted to brush his fingers across Morse’s face and hold it tenderly and tell him to get some sleep and to take a break as it would do no good to work himself to death.</p><p>Just looking at Morse made him feel more protected and at ease, and he felt that he was stable. However, it also reminded him of the night he got stabbed and a flicker of fear had run through him as he remembered the ghastly pain he experienced and the terror of the unknown.</p><p>He could feel his eyes prick with tears and he did not want Morse to see him brought down and weak. He had already embarrassed himself when he broke down and shared part of his experience at Blenheim Vale with Morse and he could not let that happen again. He hoped Morse would not notice his discomfort but he did and was already moving his chair closer.</p><p>The scent of his shower gel was reassuring and Jakes felt safer in his presence. He almost wanted to tell Morse about his feelings and fears, but he decided to keep it to himself. </p><p>“Morse would not want to be burdened with my ridiculous issues. I can handle it myself.” He thought.</p><p>He was surprised when Morse reached out and held his hand, the warmth from his slowly heating his cold ones. He could feel the steady thrumming of his pulse and the smoothness of his palms. </p><p>He found himself expressing his appreciation that Morse was there and wanted to slap himself for it. Morse would probably think he was an idiot, that he was not in his right mind and was probably still addled by the drugs given to him. </p><p>Maybe he was delirious and dreaming? Morse would never visit him, let alone hold his hand. No, he couldn't be dreaming, it all felt too real. He was doubly surprised to hear that Morse felt the same way. </p><p>Jakes felt his heart flutter for a fleeting moment and his cheeks flushed again. There was silence between the two of them, both unsure of what to say and Jakes took that moment to look at Morse.</p><p>He suddenly noticed the splash of freckles across Morse’s face and pinkness of his lips. He had never been this close to notice these things before, but he found these small details more attractive.</p><p>Jakes knew he was interested in Morse, he had been curt and rude to him, afraid that Morse would find out about his affections and mock him for it. </p><p>Therefore, he tried to distance himself from him and act like a prick to put him off, but Jakes kept finding himself paired up with Morse during investigations or stakeouts. Not that he really complained about that.</p><p>He had spent many hours gazing at Morse in the office, not that Morse ever noticed. For a man who could pick out the smallest details, he was awfully oblivious to these things.</p><p>He had dreamt of a time where he could press his lips against Morse’s, and that his love for him would be reciprocated. He was afraid of love at the same time, not willing to have his heart broken. </p><p>Little did he know that Morse had begun feeling the same way about him. Both men were experiencing feelings of affection for one another but did not know if the other viewed them the same way. </p><p>Morse then broke the silence by asking how long he would be staying in the hospital, which brought him out of his reverie. </p><p>Although a week to ten days did not seem like the longest period of time, it felt like forever to Jakes. </p><p>He contemplated asking Morse to visit him more often, to keep him company, unsure about whether Morse would say yes or no. He then decided he would take the risk and ask him.</p><p>He felt overjoyed to hear that Morse had already planned on visiting him, and he had a warm feeling in his heart. </p><p>When Morse passed him the paper with his phone number on it, Jakes held on to it tightly, not wanting to let go of it. </p><p>He was sad to see Morse go and wanted to reach out and ask him to stay but he knew that duty called. </p><p>Initially, he was confused as to why Morse told the nurse he was his brother but soon realised why. He was disappointed that only family were allowed to visit, but at least he had Morse and that was good enough.</p><p>His eyelids felt rather heavy and he suddenly was overcome with a wave of exhaustion. He lay down on the stark white sheets, Morse’s smell mingling with the air, creating the impression that he was still there, which made Jakes feel more relaxed and safe, and he fell asleep, relieved that he was not plagued by nightmares that he so often came across. </p><p>Morse was the person that made him feel accepted. He might even open up to him and share his emotions. He just needed to find the right moment.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'm trying to make them feel more comfortable with one another, and capture jakes' thoughts about opening up to morse. it's going to take some time but i promise i'll be getting to that soon! </p><p>let me know what you thought of this chapter and leave a comment if you liked/disliked it. feedback is appreciated :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Butterfly Repose</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>just some developments in the case and fred thursday being an amazing supportive man</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morse stepped back into the station, finding Thursday smoking his pipe while looking agitated. </p><p>“Any update on that Gary Simon?” Morse asked as he straightened the stack of papers laying on his desk.</p><p>“No, he didn’t do it. He was seeing some barmaid, didn’t want his wife finding out. What a world we live in now.”</p><p>“Anything interesting that he said?”</p><p>“No, but I plan to keep him under observation. I don’t fully buy his story.”</p><p>Morse nodded his head in acknowledgement as he sat back down at his desk, fiddling with his pen. </p><p>His thoughts wandered to Jakes, with his blue-green eyes and his gorgeous lips. Morse wished that he could drag his fingers across his pink lips and pull him in for a kiss, relishing in his spicy cologne that Morse loved.</p><p>It was woody, with notes of basil and neroli with bursts of mandarin and when Jakes wore it, it made him seem more refined and masculine, carrying an air of authority and confidence. </p><p>While he sat with Jakes he began paying attention to small features he never saw, like the small scar just under his left eye that you would have never heeded and the tiny dots of almost invisible stubble that graced his face.</p><p>Morse sighed, imagining himself tracing his sharp jawline and his cheekbones, only snapping out of his reverie when Strange began speaking to him.</p><p>“You alright, matey? You seem a bit distracted.”</p><p>“Hm? Oh, I’m good.”</p><p>Strange did not say anything more, but of out the corner of his eye, Morse could see him glance over every few moments. </p><p>Morse scribbled a few notes down in his notebook, such as the fact that parts of the liver could be removed and donated as it can grow back, a kidney can also be transplanted. The heart and lungs can be donated after death.</p><p>He supposed his time with Dr DeBryn expanded his knowledge on medical information which was useful. He would have to go and thank the doctor the next time he saw him.</p><p>“Morse, would like to grab a drink down at the pub?” </p><p>Morse turned around, watching Thursday effortlessly slide himself into his grey coat and pop on his hat. </p><p>Morse looked at the time, surprised that it had already been an hour. Time really flew by quickly. Thursday looked back at him, waiting for an answer.</p><p>Morse slid his pen into his pocket and grabbed his coat as well, the two men striding out into the busy streets as people began to leave work and they headed towards the pub.</p><p>*</p><p>“So, what have you been up to today? Find anything that might help with the investigation?” Thursday asked as he sipped his whiskey, the fiery liquid leaving a warm tingling feeling at the back of his throat.</p><p>Damn it, Morse had forgotten to get something of relevance to the case. He remained calm and his face did not reveal any sort of guilt or embarrassment. </p><p>“Well, the organs that were removed can all be donated and transplanted,” He said, trying to retain his neutral expression.</p><p>Thursday leaned closer to him and spoke in a softer tone, at a volume so low Morse could barely hear it.</p><p>“Why don’t you tell me where you really were? I had someone tell me you were down at the hospital. Perhaps visiting someone?”</p><p>Morse was speechless for a moment and he could feel his cheeks heat up. He brushed his curls away from his face before responding. </p><p>“I went to see Jakes, and there is nothing wrong with that. I was concerned.” He drank his beer, placing it down roughly on the table and looked at Thursday, daring him to say something.</p><p>There was no denying it. Morse knew that Thursday knew and there was no point making a big deal out of it.</p><p>“All right, all right Morse. There’s no need to get all defensive. ‘Course there isn’t anything wrong with it. If you wanted to see him, you could have just told me.”</p><p>“I thought you would have said no. And you said only family was allowed to see him.”<br/>
Thursday’s eyes widened and his mouth was slightly agape. “How did you get in Morse? Just out of curiosity.”</p><p>“I told the nurse I was his brother. She didn’t question it, come to think of it, she seemed pretty distracted like her mind was on something else.” Morse mused.</p><p>Thursday began to laugh heartily, he was genuinely amused at how easy it was to get it.</p><p>“The two of you barely look alike! I’m surprised she bought it.”</p><p>Morse still looked deep in thought and when Thursday tapped him on the shoulder, he gave a small smile and continued drinking his beer, looking out across the street as rain began to hit the ground.</p><p>After a while, the two men left the pub and although it was still pouring, Thursday insisted that he would walk home.</p><p>“A walk would do me some good. Never you mind, I’ll be alright. See you tomorrow Morse.”</p><p>Morse stood under the glow of the streetlight, watching Thursday walk away, gradually disappearing into the darkness.</p><p>Cold drops of rain ran down Morse’s spine which elicited a shiver from him. He pulled his collar up and hurried back to his flat.</p><p>*</p><p>He stepped into his flat, water dripping onto the carpet, shoes leaving wet footprints. Morse dumped his wet clothes into the clothes basket and slipped his nightshirt on, sitting on the edge of his bed and began pouring another drink.</p><p>He suddenly noticed something silver on his counter and he walked towards it and realised it was Jakes’ lighter. How it got there, Morse could not recollect. He tried to recall how it could have gotten there and then remembered that Jakes had visited him a week or so ago to discuss the matters for the case.</p><p>He ran his fingers over the lighter, tracing the engraving of ‘P Jakes’ and clenching it tightly in his fist, not wanting to let go.</p><p>He felt asleep not long after as the pitter-patter of the raindrops lulled him to bed, still holding the lighter.</p><p>*</p><p>Morse woke up later than usual, he groaned as he stretched, his joints cracking as he had slept in a strange position. He rubbed his eyes and groggily stumbled over to his bathroom, the floor still damp from the previous night.</p><p>He picked out a black suit and put it on, the colour suited him and made him look fitter and sharper. He left the house, ready to pick Thursday up and his thoughts were on Jakes the whole time.</p><p>His eyes, his hair, his features, the feeling of his hands wrapped around Morse’s own and his silky voice which sent shivers of pleasure down Morse’s spine. It all kept replaying in Morse’s mind. </p><p>Eyes, hair, face, hands, voice. Eyes, hair, face hands voice. </p><p>Morse was so distracted he drove over the curb, narrowly missing some potted plants. He stepped out, the gravel crunching under his feet, the air still moist from the rain. </p><p>He knocked on the door and Mrs Thursday greeted him, ushering him and offering a drink. He politely declined and waited for Thursday to come down the stairs.</p><p>“See you later Win,” Thursday said as he placed a kiss on her cheek. She handed him his sandwiches and waved goodbye as he walked to the Jaguar.</p><p>Morse sat in the car, holding the steering wheel and turning on the engine but not driving. He turned to Thursday, ready to ask but the words barely escaped his lips before Thursday interrupted.</p><p>“Of course, Morse. Go and visit Jakes. But do find something for the case. And meet me at the pub at 7. Sound good?”</p><p>Morse was dumbstruck, his mouth opening and closing but no words leaving it. He was confused but elated.</p><p>“Thank you, sir.” He finally said, glancing at the Thursday to check if he was serious.</p><p>Thursday hummed softly under his breath, looking out the window as Morse drove on.</p><p>About half-way through the journey, Thursday broke the silence with a question that made Morse freeze and feel hot under the collar.</p><p>“You and Jakes, is there something more to it? I’ve seen the way he looks at you, it’s quite obvious and hard to miss.”</p><p>Morse was surprised, how had he not noticed that before? He scratched the back of his head, unsure whether he should tell Thursday about his feelings toward Jakes. After a while of contemplating, he responded quietly, “Yes. I do like him. Not that it will come to anything though. He certainly does not like me.”</p><p>Thursday gave a reassuring smile and said, ‘You’d be surprised, Morse. Don’t deny yourself this opportunity, and don’t worry about this getting out. This will be our secret.”</p><p>Morse was stunned to hear that Jakes would like him back, would his fantasies come true? Thursday was definitely supportive of him and Morse did not know that Thursday had views like that.</p><p>He thought Thursday did not approve but he did apparently. Aside from that, Thursday’s words rang in Morse’s head. Should he take this opportunity? </p><p>*</p><p>Jakes tossed and turned in his bed, bored out of his mind. He had nothing to do, and the books the hospital offered were not the genre he enjoyed.</p><p>The stinging pain of his wound had reduced slightly and only once in a while he would feel discomfort, otherwise, it was just a dull throbbing sensation.</p><p>His thoughts were on Morse and only on Morse. He was all he could think about. His curls, his blue eyes, the splash of freckles across his face. And what Jakes found most fascinating was his name. Endeavour. How suiting for a man like him.</p><p>He gave a satisfied sigh and he thought about him. The way he walked with his long strides and the briskness of how he travelled. Jakes leaned against his pillow, feeling disappointed and unsure if Morse would ever love him.</p><p>Who could love someone like him? Someone who was dependent and who needed things. Many of the women he had a relationship with had said he was good for only one thing. They said a man should be strong and independent and protect people. They shouldn't be in need of protection.</p><p>It had hurt. Was that truly what people thought of him? The bitterness had resided in him, leaving him insecure and uncertain. Fearful of love and what it would do. He had suffered enough so why should he cause more harm to himself.</p><p>He could only dream that Morse loved him. Surely it would never happen in real life.</p><p>Just at that moment, the nurse entered the room with new bandages and medication.</p><p>Jakes noticed that she had reapplied her scarlet lipstick and there was a faint red stain around her lips. Almost like it had smeared and she hastily cleaned it.</p><p>Some strands of her blonde hair had fallen out of place, and her clothes were slightly creased. </p><p>Jakes wouldn't have been surprised if she had made out with somebody recently. It certainly looked like that to him. That was rather unprofessional of her.</p><p>He remained silent, not speaking to her. He barely did, it was a waste of energy anyways. He had tried asking her some questions the previous day and she had given him short answers that did not help resolve his doubts.</p><p>“You don't talk much do you? Cat got your tongue?” She said, her voice breaking Jakes’ train of thought. </p><p>Jakes was confused, just yesterday she was brusque and had the pretence of being sweet and kind, and now she was asking him why he did not speak to him?</p><p>“Am I not pretty enough for you?” She said, batting her eyelashes and pouting.</p><p>“No. I’m sorry, uh, I…” He was unsure of what to say and he stumbled over his words.</p><p>She began to move closer to him, bending down to his level and leaned forward, ready to kiss him.</p><p>Jakes was stunned, he was frozen and unsure of what to do but just as her lips were about to reach his, he pushed her away.</p><p>“Please leave me alone. I’m not interested.” He said, panicking slightly. </p><p>She huffed and walked straight out, her heels clicking as she crossed the marble floor.</p><p>He let out a sigh of relief, thank god he was able to avoid that. He could hear her talking to another nurse and a brunette came in, and she rebandaged his wound. </p><p>As she did so, Jakes overheard two doctors having a heated discussion.</p><p>“I cannot perform the surgery if I can't find the donor! If I don't have the donor with me, I cannot conduct the transplant.” </p><p>That was strange, Jakes thought. </p><p>“Most of our donors have ended up dead, do you read the papers? They just found another body and that man was supposed to donate one of his kidneys and part of his liver. What are we going to do? I have multiple patients who are in critical need.”</p><p>The two doctors then walked out of earshot and Jakes could hear no more.</p><p>So the people who were murdered were organ donors, that was something interesting, he would bring it up to Morse when he came. Or if he came, the doubting part of Jakes said.</p><p>He tried to remain positive and think that Morse was coming. He definitely would.</p><p>He glanced at the clock, and it was only10.30 am. It was a long day ahead, full of boredom.</p><p>He was just about to lay back down when he heard the familiar click of shoes against the marble and the door open. Morse.</p><p>“Hello.” He said, sitting up straighter.</p><p>Morse walked towards him and once again pulled the chair towards the side of Jakes bed, this time sitting a lot closer than before.</p><p>“How are you?” he said.</p><p>“Better. The nurse tried to make a move but I rebuked her, it's a bit uncomfortable but I suppose I can live with it.”</p><p>Morse laughed, “Want me to make a complaint?” he fiddled with something in his hands, every so often looking down at it.</p><p>“No, I’m alright, thanks. Oh and I overheard some of the doctors talking about donors going missing. Apparently, it’s the people we found murdered. Think that's got to do with the case?” </p><p>“That's useful. Remember the organs that were removed can be used for transplants? That's probably got something to do with it. But who?”</p><p>Jakes shrugged, “I’ll let you know if I find anything more.”</p><p>Morse had a flicker of a smile on his face, and he said, “It's very observant of you. It suits you.”</p><p>Jakes blushed a little, a shy smile showing on his face.</p><p>Morse suddenly reached out and passed him the object in his hand. His lighter!</p><p>“I thought I had lost it,” Jakes said, a hint of astonishment in his voice.</p><p>Morse explained that it was in his flat and that Jakes probably left it there when he came round a week ago.</p><p>The two of them suddenly made eye contact and they held it there, the gaze deepening and getting more intense.</p><p>Suddenly, Morse leaned towards him and pressed a kiss against Jakes’ lips. Jakes was taken aback but he began to kiss back.</p><p>It was fast, smooth and passionate, each matching the other's push and pull and Morse tenderly cupped Jakes’ face in his palms, bringing him closer. </p><p>Morse tasted sweet and minty and his scent of shower gel that Jakes loved so much filling his nose. It was ecstasy.</p><p>They broke it off, slightly breathless, still staring at each other. Morse’s face was tinged red and his lips were pink, his hair mussed up. He looked beautiful.</p><p>Morse traced his finger along Jakes’ face and Jakes murmured, “I think I’m in love with you.”</p><p>Morse chuckled and responded, “As am I with you. God, you look so beautiful.” </p><p>“You have no idea how long I’ve dreamt for this moment. I..” Jakes choked up, tears showing up in his eyes.</p><p>“You can always talk to me Jakes, you can trust me.”</p><p>Jakes sniffled and took Morse's hand, rubbing circles onto it.</p><p>“I was afraid that you hated me. And I’m terrified that one day people will see me for who I am. A coward. Someone who cannot take care of themselves. I’m useless, Morse.”</p><p>“You aren't a coward, you never were. And you aren't useless. You are perfect the way you are, I’ll always be here for you Peter.” </p><p>His voice was soothing and genuine, there was no lie behind it.</p><p>Jakes ran his hand through Morse’s hair, the other hand feeling his kiss swollen lips. </p><p>Morse pressed a kiss to Jakes’ face, “I’ll get the doctor’s to let you out. After all, I’m a trustworthy brother who has medical experience.” </p><p>He winked at Jakes as he walked outside to speak to a doctor. Jakes’ heart was beating rapidly, this was heaven.</p><p>A few minutes later, Morse returned with a smile on his face. “You can come home with me to my flat. I have to go now, so I will pick you up after work?”</p><p>Jakes nodded, “See you then, Endeavour.”</p><p>Morse laughed, “You’ll have to come up with another name for me. That one’s far too long.”</p><p>Jakes waved goodbye as Morse walked out, but not before pressing one last kiss to his lips. The two maintained eye contact as Morse walked out.</p><p>Jakes never wanted it to end, he never felt this way before. This happy, this carefree, this loved. It was the best feeling ever.</p><p>He lay back down on his bed, heart fluttering and a look of bliss plastered on his face. He was going home with Morse. </p><p>Someone who loved him. That was what he needed, and that was what he got.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope you enjoyed, let me know what you think in the comment section!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Lay By Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i was way too excited to write this chapter and thus have neglected my school work :')<br/>hope you enjoy the chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Morse walked out of the hospital, he felt satisfied and he was experiencing something he had never felt before. He had found somebody he truly loved. It had taken a while for him to realise it but now that multiple people had brought it up, Morse realised that Jakes indeed had looked at him before.</p><p>Morse suddenly saw all the signs. The gazes Jakes gave him, the many times their fingers brushed when they passed case files to one another, how his eyebrows were slightly raised when he spoke to him and how Jakes would always touch up his appearance when Morse was in the room. Actually, the last one might just be Jakes’ being vain.</p><p>Morse smiled to himself while thinking about him. He was just perfect, Morse could not express just how much he cared for him. He wanted the hours of the day to speed up so he could just whisk Jakes out of the hospital and spend the whole night with him.</p><p>He stepped into the Jaguar, speeding off to the station to share with Thursday the newest piece of information.</p><p>*</p><p>“Morse? You're back early.” Thursday said, looking surprised.</p><p>“Jakes told me that some doctors were talking about donors going missing. They were the people we found murdered.”</p><p>“Huh. Well done Morse.” </p><p>Just as Morse began to walk away, Thursday told him to wait a moment. </p><p>“Morse, you look rather scruffy. Let me rearrange some things for you.”</p><p>Thursday was like a father to Morse, taking good care of him and always helping him out. It was not unusual for Thursday to neaten Morse’s suit or assist him in re-tying his tie.</p><p>Thursday straightened his tie and smoothed the creases in his suit. He then said ever so softly, “You look like you've made some progress.”</p><p>Morse looked at him, incredulous. He let out a small ‘ha’ and stared at Thursday, not understanding how he could have been so observant and noticed that so quickly.</p><p>“How did...how?” Morse stuttered, tripping over his words as he fumbled to put his hands in his pockets.</p><p>“I’ll never share my secrets,” Thursday said with a wink and left the room, going about his business.</p><p>Morse stared at him, the look of astonishment still plastered on his face.</p><p>“Matey, any developments with the case?”</p><p>“Ah, yes,” Morse explained what he had discovered to Strange.</p><p>Strange nodded, pausing before asking Morse a question that had him stumped.</p><p>“So, how did you find out? Why would you be at the hospital? Thought you were going somewhere else?”</p><p>Morse turned beet red and shifted slightly, avoiding eye contact with Strange.</p><p>Strange raised his eyebrows but clapped Morse on the shoulder, reassuring him that it was fine to go on his own adventures to discover information for cases.</p><p>Morse sighed in relief, pleased that Strange did not suspect anything. He was not embarrassed or anything, just wary and cautious. He would not want this information to be accidentally slipped out and used as possible blackmail in the future. </p><p>Morse had heard stories of men like him being beaten in the streets, slurs flung at them. Although Morse had no problem with that if he was in that situation, he was more concerned for Jakes. Everything he would do from now on would be for Jakes.</p><p>Morse felt a little proud of himself, that he had a duty to protect Jakes. He liked being the hero, though he would not admit it if anyone asked him. </p><p>Lost in his thoughts, Morse walked into the side of the door, which led to a grunt escaping his lips. Strange looked at him funnily and Morse raised a hand to show that he was fine.</p><p>He knew he could be quite disastrous and clumsy, and prone to getting himself into trouble. He always knew that he would help those in need, even if it meant he would get hurt or risk his life. He remembered one time when Jakes had called him a human disaster and he smiled as he recalled that.</p><p>He sat down at his desk, writing down notes and looking through medical information.</p><p>In that few hours, he learnt about which organs could be transplanted while the person was still alive and which could not and how they were transplanted. He would ask Dr DeBryn if he saw him again, just to confirm some things and clarify any doubts he had.</p><p>He also noted down a connection between two of the victims. Kathryn Cohen’s husband was on the board of directors in the hospital and Albert Decker was the son of another member of the board. </p><p>Morse thought that that was a curious thing, it couldn't have been a coincidence as the likelihood of that was rather small. It was never a coincidence in these types of cases.</p><p>Morse needed to think of a motive as to why someone would murder these people. Money maybe? Fame? Revenge? There were so many possibilities.</p><p>He seemed to recall an article in the papers about a surgeon being fired but he could not fully remember it. He would consult Miss Frazil and see if she remembered anything.</p><p>He rang the office and she picked up, pleasantly surprised to hear him. </p><p>“Hello, Miss Frazil, could I ask, was there any surgeon or doctor that was recently fired? This just might be something related to the case.”</p><p>“Well, yes. His name was Aidan Coffey if I remember correctly. He was fired for his inaccuracies during surgeries. His wife had died, and he was very badly affected. He could not focus during work and had a very bad temper. He attacked one of his colleagues I believe, which was the final straw and led to his termination.”</p><p>“Ah, I see. Thank you Miss Frazil.”</p><p>That was some useful information, he would meet this man tomorrow and see if he had any information.</p><p>Before he knew it, it had begun to turn dark, the sun setting, golden rays hiding behind buildings and giving way to the silver glow of the moon.</p><p>“Are you ready for a drink Morse? Strange, why don't you join us?” Thursday called out to the two men.</p><p>Strange got up first, clearly eager to leave the station whereas Morse was a tad more hesitant. He was supposed to pick up Jakes. </p><p>A drink wouldn't hurt though, he would leave early and as soon as possible. He stood up and walked with them.</p><p>He practically finished his drink in one go, which elicited some chuckles from Thursday and Strange.</p><p>“Awfully thirsty, aren't you?” Strange said as he sipped his own drink.</p><p>“Sorry, I’ve got somewhere to go.” He said, standing up, not waiting for a response from them.</p><p>Strange looked at him, a questioning expression on his face whereas Thursday did not pay much attention to it.</p><p>“I'll get Strange to take me home then. See you tomorrow then, Morse.”</p><p>Morse waved a hand and left the pub, driving straight to the hospital.</p><p>“What's on his mind?” Strange asked Thursday.</p><p>“Work I suppose. I wouldn't worry too much about him, he can handle himself,” Thursday replied.</p><p>Strange gazed outside the window, thinking. Morse was acting strangely but was it his business to find out what was going on?</p><p>He was curious to find out what was going on, but he did not want to intrude. He would have a think about it but for now, he should just enjoy his drink.</p><p>*</p><p>Jakes waited patiently for Morse to arrive, smoothing his hair as best he could without his hair product, changing into a nice suit and packing his items neatly. </p><p>He knew Morse was busy and would have things to do, and that was probably why he was delayed, but it did not stop Jakes from getting a little impatient. He never really did have much patience to begin with, and had it been another person, he would have berated them immediately. </p><p>However, this was Morse, therefore it was a completely different situation and he would take a completely different approach. </p><p>Through the window, he noticed Morse walking towards the counter, giving a nod of acknowledgement to the nurse and hurrying to Jakes’ room.</p><p>Jakes’ expression lit up and Morse gave him a kiss, holding him tightly in his arms.</p><p>“Whoa, slow down. It still hurts.” Jakes laughed.</p><p>“My bad, let's get out of here.”</p><p>The pair left the room, rounding the corner and catching Jakes’ nurse snogging some man.</p><p>Jakes smirked a little, glad that his observation was right. She was making out with someone during her work hours. How utterly unprofessional.</p><p>The two of them immediately broke off, the man looking around sheepishly and the nurse hurriedly rearranging her hair.</p><p>“Ahem, how can I help you?” She asked.</p><p>“We were just leaving,” Jakes said.</p><p>Jakes and Morse left, sharing amused smirks and Jakes could feel the two people watching them, their eyes boring into his back. Didn't matter much anyway, he was with Morse. Nothing mattered except for that.</p><p>*<br/>
“Want some dinner? We could grab some Chinese on our way back,” Morse said.</p><p>“I’m good, not too hungry now.”</p><p>“Sure you aren’t, I’m pretty sure you’re hungry for something else.”</p><p>Jakes laughed, a charming and lopsided smile on his face. Morse was so utterly rude sometimes. </p><p>“Didn’t think they would let me out this early. The doc said that it was unsuitable for me to be out of the hospital.”</p><p>“Well, a little persuasion goes a long way.”</p><p>“You’re a sly one, Morse.”</p><p>They soon reached Morse's flat and within seconds of closing the door, Jakes began kissing Morse profusely.</p><p>Morse tasted faintly of whiskey, dark and woody and austere. He smelt vaguely of tobacco and a salty tinge of sweat. Jakes could taste it in the air.</p><p>Jakes took a look around Morse's apartment and chided him. It looked like a tornado had hit every room.</p><p>“God, your apartment is a mess.”</p><p>Jakes stepped over a pile of clothes on the floor and gestured to the stack of unorganised papers and empty whiskey bottles.</p><p>“Did a hurricane happen here?”</p><p>“Hey, don't say that or I’ll throw you out.”</p><p>“You can't do that!”</p><p>“‘Course I won't,” Morse said, pulling Jakes in for another kiss.</p><p>“You smell so good, you know,” Jakes said against Morse's lips, feeling his hot breath and heavy exhales on his face. He ran his hand through Morse’s curls, wrapping his hand into them and putting the other hand around his waist.</p><p>Morse closed his eyes and smiled, reaching out an arm and playing the record that was in the record player. Soft jazz music began to play, reverberating in the silence. Morse held Jakes’ waist and began to sway, leading Jakes into moving with him.</p><p>“That's a little cliché Morse, I didn't know you were a romantic,” Jakes teased.</p><p>“Neither did I,”</p><p>Jakes hummed under his breath, enjoying the intimacy of the moment, he loved the feeling of Morse against him, his warm body enveloping him.</p><p>He could see all the freckles on Morse's face, the faded scar on his nose bridge from when he got punched, and his eyes. Vivid and intoxicating, intense blue with flecks of brown twinkling, pupils dilated.</p><p>He pressed another kiss to Morse's lips, and Morse nibbled on it, tentative but jocose. He then moved quicker with an intense and fervent motive. It was devout and passionate.</p><p>Jakes ran his hands down Morse’s figure, paying attention to the prominent and well-developed bone structure. He was lean and lithe, and he pressed his hands against Morse's abdomen, feeling the tightness of muscles. </p><p>He ran his hands up and down felt Morse’s mannish slender hips, narrow but masculine. The edges of his hips were sharp and well defined. The fact that his pants were fitting only served to outline his leanness. Everything about him was in proportion.</p><p>“Want a drink?”</p><p>“I’m parched and I am gasping for a cigarette. Been ages since I’ve smoked. Hospital wouldn't allow it.”</p><p>“Luckily for you, I bought a pack. Just for you.”</p><p>Morse moved away, going to the decanter and pouring some whiskey for Jakes.</p><p>He held up a cigarette, implying that Jakes could start smoking when he wanted to.</p><p>“You shouldn't spoil me.”</p><p>“But I want to.”</p><p>Jakes gave Morse a playful shove and sat on the couch, wincing a bit.</p><p>“Still hurts, does it?” Morse said sympathetically.</p><p>Jakes nodded, placing a hand on the armrest for support.</p><p>His side still felt tender and sore, and sharp movements did cause spikes of pain. </p><p>Morse grabbed the bag the hospital had given them, pulling out the bandages. He gestured for Jakes to shift and he sat next to him, gently unbuttoning his shirt.</p><p>Jakes’ took in a sharp inhale, realising that Morse would see the scars on his back. It was too late though, for Morse had already slipped it off.</p><p>Jakes felt Morse's fingers trace the lines on his back, he had looked at them so many times he could visualise and know exactly where Morse was touching.</p><p>He was always disgusted by it, they were reminders of his dark past, and he hated looking at it. He still did though, a sort of horror-filled transfix. </p><p>The flesh was raised and pink, scar tissue standing out against his pale skin. Long ropes of tissue snaked around on his back from his shoulder blades to his lower back. </p><p>He’d always thought people would be revolted and therefore barely anyone knew about it.</p><p>“Don't like what you see? Puts you off, doesn't it?” Jakes said bitterly.</p><p>“Not at all, those bastards deserve to be in prison. No one will do this to you ever again Peter. Not while there is breath in my body. You are perfect the way you are.”</p><p>Morse's fingers began to unravel the bandages, and he tenderly pressed a kiss to his shoulder.</p><p>He was careful, cautious, rebandaging it like he was carrying plates of china. It did not hurt this time though when the nurses did it, it was hurried and sometimes the edge of the bandage caught on the stitches which did hurt but with Morse, nothing happened.</p><p>Jakes slipped his shirt back on, not bothering to button it up fully. </p><p>Scruffy Jakes was appealing to Morse, it was a whole new side to him. It was the complete opposite of usual self, who usually had his hair perfectly gelled, suit free of creases and shoes polished.</p><p>“What do you want to do now?” Jakes asked, glancing at Morse.</p><p>“Come and lie with me,” Morse whispered, walking to the bedroom.</p><p>Morse shrugged off his jacket, kicked off his shoes, he slid into the bed, patting it and inviting Jakes over.</p><p>Jakes climbed into it as well, and he leaned into Morse, and he felt Morse’s arm wrap around him.</p><p>They cuddled, listening to one another's breathing. Jakes placed his head on Morse’s heart, listening to the steady beats which eventually lulled him to sleep. He felt Morse’s hand caress him, his touch so gentle.</p><p>He gave a content sigh and shifted towards him, moving closer to Morse.</p><p>Morse held Jakes tightly, appreciating the intimacy of the situation. He pressed kisses to Jakes’ head, massaging his arm and listening to his soft inhales and exhales.</p><p>He breathed in Jakes’ scent, lovingly murmuring sweet words to him, knowing that he would subconsciously hear it.</p><p>He had suffered so much already, all he deserved now was love and affection. </p><p>Morse soon fell asleep as well, the two men relishing in the other's presence.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>when i saw hekate1308's comment about morse being a walking disaster, i could not resist putting it into the story.<br/>let me know what you thought of the chapter and i swear the nurse is TOTALLY relevant.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Hold Me While You Wait</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morse woke up to the smell of sausages and eggs, tantalising and making his mouth water. It had been a long time since he had had a proper breakfast and he got up eagerly.</p><p>He headed to the kitchen, looking at Jakes with an impressed look on his face.</p><p>“Up so early?”</p><p>“Do you know you snore?”</p><p>Morse huffed, placing his hands on his hips, disbelief plastered on his face.</p><p>Jakes laughed, motioning for Morse to come over. Morse walked to him, hugging him from behind and resting his chin on Jakes’ shoulder.</p><p>“You should learn to cook Morse, you’ve got barely anything in here.”</p><p>“Hm, I don't have to cook when you're here.”</p><p>Jakes gave him that lopsided smile and pecked him on the cheek.</p><p>They walked to the sitting room, collapsing onto the sofa. Morse was salivating while holding the warm plate, everything looked awfully delicious. Jakes could have had a future as a chef.</p><p>“This tastes bloody amazing.”</p><p>“Of course it does. I made it.”</p><p>“You love it when people praise you, don't you?”</p><p>“Sure Morse. Think they’ll be happy to see me again?”</p><p>“ Of course, Thursday and Bright definitely are missing you.”</p><p>“I’d probably be on light duties. Think you can use that persuasion of yours to get me out of it? I’m itching for some action.”</p><p>Morse raised his eyebrows, sipping his tea. He leaned back into his chair, voicing his concern for Jakes’s safety.</p><p>“Morse, trust me. I’ll be fine.”</p><p>“You can come with me and Thursday then. That’ll keep you out of trouble.”</p><p>Jakes feigned a look of hurt but got up and walked to the bathroom.</p><p>“Dishes are your expertise, Morse.”</p><p>Morse watched Jakes walk away, still smiling. It had been so long since he had smiled so much. </p><p>He was still sitting down and staring into space when Jakes came out in a fresh new suit. A crisp white dress shirt with a dark brown jacket that suited him wonderfully, it was his usual self. Confidence and bravery oozed out of him.</p><p>Jakes tutted and shook his head, hurrying Morse to get on with his work.</p><p>After a while, the pair left Morse’s apartment to pick up Thursday and meet this Aidan Coffey.</p><p>*<br/>
“Good to see you, Jakes,” Thursday said, tipping his hat in his direction.</p><p>The three men went into the Jaguar and headed for Aidan Coffey’s apartment. Although Morse was sitting behind the wheel and Jakes was slouching in the back, Morse kept looking in the rearview mirror, meeting Jakes’ eyes.</p><p>Thursday definitely noticed as the two men were not being subtle at all. Thursday knew what it felt to be lovestruck, he had felt the exact way when he met Win.</p><p>“The two of you are besotted with one another, might want to be careful in case you run into those gangs.”</p><p>Morse chuckled, putting his arm around the seat and reached out to Jakes. “Morse, eyes on the road,” Jakes said, smacking his hand away. He took out a cigarette, lighting it and smoking it, clearly enjoying himself.</p><p>Jakes looked out the window, watching the blur of green trees, houses and people as the Jaguar sped down the road. He could see the grey storm clouds settling in and he knew it was going to rain. </p><p>He loved the rain, the moisture in the air, the petrichor cutting through the smog of the town, giving a breath of freshness. He loved the sound as well, as he had fallen asleep to it so many times before. It was a comforting feeling, but not as comforting as sleeping next to Morse or being in his arms.</p><p>Thursday definitely was supportive of it and he seemed totally unfazed by it. That surprised Jakes slightly, so it turned out he did not know Thursday as well as he thought.</p><p>They soon pulled up to Coffey’s house, a house with an old structure but looked well maintained. The only things that were quite out of order were the thorny rose bushes that stuck out along the walkway, prickly arms reaching out and scraping past Jakes’ jacket.</p><p>Morse rang the doorbell, standing smartly, hands in his pockets ready to whip out his identity card.</p><p>The door opened and Jakes gaped at the man for a second. It was the same man who was snogging the nurse at the hospital yesterday. Morse shot a glance at Jakes, a smirk on his face. He turned back to the man and raised his card.</p><p>“Detective Constable Morse. Here with me are DCI Thursday and DS Jakes. We’re just inquiring some things that might be related to our case.”</p><p>The man opened the door a little wider, looking at them suspiciously. However, he let them in and Jakes could feel his cold eyes watching them.</p><p>“What do you want?” He said gruffly, not offering them a seat or a drink. The inside of the house was well kept, books lining the shelves and photographs of a woman Jakes assumed was his wife.</p><p>“We’re just looking into a case of ours and I understand you were a surgeon? What have you done since then?”</p><p>“Nothing, I’ve been doing nothing. Just odd jobs here and there. What’s it to you?”</p><p>“You see, there have been murders going around, I’m sure you have seen it in the papers, and their organs have been removed so I would just like to ask if you had any knowledge about transplants?”</p><p>“I suppose so. I’m a surgeon. Used to perform transplants. But you know that already so why come?”</p><p>“Two of the victims are relatives of people on the board of directors at the hospital. I presume they would have had a hand in your termination?”</p><p>“Yes they did but I wouldn’t kill. It was my job to save lives not take them away. Now, if you excuse me, I have a lunch meeting so if you could leave?”</p><p>Morse walked out, clearly displeased with the man. Thursday shooked his head, muttering about sour leads. Jakes thought he was rather suspicious, he would bring up his doubts to Morse.</p><p>*</p><p>Morse was upset with the results of his inquiry. This man had not told him anything useful at all and it was a waste of precious time. He would say that the man was acting strangely though and if he was so in love with his wife, why was he with this nurse now? Could have been that he moved on but that was unlikely.</p><p>He checked his watch, noting that it was time for him to meet Dr DeBryn. </p><p>“Want to tag along?” Morse asked, nudging Jakes.</p><p>“Why not. See you later sir.”</p><p>As they walked to the Jaguar, Morse asked, “How’s the wound?” and Jakes replied,” Better now. That Coffey man is a right bugger.”</p><p>Morse agreed, starting the engine just as the rain began to hit the car, clear droplets trickling down the windows. Just in time, Morse thought.</p><p>As he drove to the hospital, Morse placed a hand on Jakes’ thigh, leaving it there until they reached the hospital. The second they stopped the car, Morse pulled Jakes to face him and pecked him, which was unexpected. Morse could tell that Jakes was startled initially but he kissed back and Morse savoured the taste of his lips.</p><p>“Better get back to the case, Morse.”</p><p>“God, the case can wait.”</p><p>Morse had not expected to say that, especially when he knew that work was his life and he was never distracted. Well, Jakes was his priority now so the case could wait for just a few moments.</p><p>Jakes smiled against Morse’s lips, his fingers tracing Morse’s face.</p><p> “Dinner tonight? I know a good place near the station.”</p><p>“Sure, but let’s get back to the case. God knows if you’ve forgotten what it is even about.”</p><p>Jakes swiftly got out, straightening his jacket and looking awfully smart, Morse thought.</p><p>He got out of the car but tripped over his own feet as he besottedly stared at Jakes. He grabbed the door to catch himself before he fell onto the floor and he looked up, seeing Jakes stifling his laughter.</p><p>What was it Jakes had said? Right, a human disaster. </p><p>Morse strolled alongside Jakes, playfully shoving him but earning a smack on the back of his head. Jakes had a serious expression on his face which Morse admired. His demeanour exuded confidence and superiority and Morse was truly impressed.</p><p>They went into the morgue and met Dr DeBryn who looked weary and tired. No doubt overworked, Morse thought, he would invite the doctor for a drink soon.</p><p>“Based on the information you have provided, I can confirm that all of the organs removed are applicable for transplants and that they were all murdered the same way and with the same weapon.”</p><p>The doctor motioned for them to come to his table and displayed two wickedly sharp scalpels. It glinted in the light, the edges gleaming.<br/>
“This is a blade 11 scalpel. Used commonly for lancing abscesses or inserting a chest drain. It’s strong pointed tip making it ideal for stab incisions and this was probably used to stab the victims. The blade 10 scalpel here is used for making large incisions and cutting soft tissue.”</p><p>Jakes paled slightly, clearly uncomfortable with the information. His hand seemed to subconsciously drift to his abdomen, hovering over his stab wound. Morse knew that it still hurt even if Jakes did not admit it. He could see the twinges and winces every once in a while but the good thing about it was that it was healing and there was no sign of infection.</p><p>“Thank you, Doctor. We’ll be in touch.”</p><p>Morse walked out, massaging his temples. He felt a little light-headed and nauseated. Being in the morgue always made him feel uncomfortable and sickened but he had been improving.</p><p>“You think we should take a look at the hospital records? Might be some information about the victims in there.”</p><p>“Well done Jakes. Looks like you’re back in the game.”</p><p>Jakes smiled proudly and asked the nurse at the counter if they could take a look at the records.</p><p>“You’ll want Jennifer. She’s right over there.” She pointed to an all too familiar nurse across the room. The same nurse who took care of Jakes and was making out with Coffey.</p><p>Morse cleared his throat uncomfortably when she walked over, her cheery expression darkening.</p><p>“Good morning, could we take a look at the hospital records for some of your patients? We’re from the police, DC Morse and DS-”</p><p>He was cut off when she curtly interrupted, “Jakes. Yes, I know who you are. Now, I am extremely busy so I will escort you and I trust you can find things by yourself.”</p><p>She spun on her heels and walked away, not waiting for a response from either of the men. Morse looked at Jakes who had a murderous expression on his face. Evidently, he disliked this Jennifer. </p><p>They followed her into the room which was dusty and had a terrible musty smell. She exited the room, glaring at the two of them.</p><p>Jakes coughed, waving away some of the particles that had begun to fly around.</p><p> “Not cleaned very often, eh?”</p><p>“Not at all.” Morse agreed as he began to look at the files. He thought it was rather strange that the files of the victims had no dust on them but the surrounding ones had plenty. It had definitely been moved recently.</p><p>He found out that every one of the victims were organ donors. They were all due to donate soon except for Kathryn Cohen and Albert Decker. Morse pitied the recipients as they would have to find someone else.</p><p>“Hm. I think I’ve got everything I need. You want to get out of here?”</p><p>“Definitely,” Jakes said without a hint of doubt in his voice. Morse then walked out of the room with him and as they were exiting the hospital, out of the corner of his eye Morse saw the nurse on the phone, watching them.</p><p>Morse did not pay much attention to it however, he had gotten many of those in the past and it was usually something to be brushed off. </p><p>The pair headed back to the station, ready to share the newest pieces of information.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>chapter7 is on the way! let me know what you thought of the chapter :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. They Don't Know About Us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>here is chapter7! </p><p>warning: homophobic language and some violence</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jakes was glad to be back. He felt appreciated when everyone at the station clapped him on the shoulder, greeting him and expressing their good wishes. Bright had said some words of encouragement to him which was genuinely helpful. It was an amazing feeling to be back in the game.</p><p>They had a few meetings and the day went by rather quickly, the sun disappearing and the evening arriving. Morse told Thursday he couldn’t send him home that night and Thursday had given him a knowing look but allowed him to.</p><p>Strange kept staring at him and Morse, clearly trying to understand what was going on. He looked so utterly confused that Jakes wanted to burst out laughing. Strange was a good fellow but Jakes did not feel that close to him. He would not confide anything in him. It would be best to keep to himself, he wouldn’t want any possible condemning information getting out around the station.</p><p>Morse walked out of Thursday’s office, nodding to Strange before motioning for Jakes to come along. He eagerly got up and waved a hand at Strange.</p><p>They walked along the dark streets, vaguely lit by the street lamps. It was still damp from the rain and the petrichor was heavy in the air. There were few people on the streets and few cars driving up and down. Jakes heard some movement behind them and whirled around, expecting to see someone trailing them but there was no one there. He looked down and saw a black cat. </p><p>He bent down, stroking it as it rubbed against him, purring loudly. Jakes looked up at Morse, a cheeky grin on his face.</p><p>“Shall we get a cat? I’m sure you’ll like that.”</p><p>“If we do, whose apartment will we put it in? Neither of our landlords allows pets and what are you even going to name it?”</p><p>“Nothing cheesy of course. I’ll have a think about it.”</p><p>Jakes stood up, continuing to walk alongside Morse. It was quiet for a bit but Morse broke the silence by asking a question.</p><p>“Peter, do you think we could have a future together?”</p><p>“Of course. What would you want to do?”</p><p>“Travel, see the world with you. Just you and me.”</p><p>Jakes smiled, a warm feeling spreading across his body, he had hated Morse when he first met him and why had he? Jakes could not remember why he had disliked Morse so much. </p><p>Now, his hatred diminished just as his admiration blossomed. He could never have figured out how he got here.</p><p>The two of them were so lost in their thoughts that they barely noticed someone emerging around the corner from the darkness. It was ironic how Jakes had been so wary just a moment ago but was completely oblivious now.</p><p>This tall and muscular man suddenly threw a punch, landing square on Morse’s nose. </p><p>Jakes could hear an audible crack and Morse’s laboured breathing as the man advanced on him again.</p><p>Morse yelped in pain and Jakes snapped to attention and tried rushing over to him, only to be held back by someone he didn’t even know was behind him. </p><p>The person who had hit Morse struck again, getting Morse right in the gut. He fell to the ground, heaving.</p><p>Jakes struggled hard against the person who in response hit him at his injured side. </p><p>He howled in pain, but still wrestled against the man’s tight grip. He had to get to Morse. </p><p>Unfortunately, all that he earned for that was getting thrown onto the uneven ground and receiving multiple kicks to his face and ribs.</p><p>His ribs cried out in agony, he could only hope they were bruised and not cracked or broken. He could not stand another night in the hospital, not when he just got out.</p><p>Jakes groaned, tasting the coppery blood in his mouth and he brought a hand to his forehead, a small gash on his temple leaking sticky violent red liquid. He could feel it slide down his face, running off his chin and splattering on the ground softly. </p><p>The only thing he thought of was Morse and he turned over, catching a glimpse of the first man wrapping his meaty hand around Morse’s neck. Jakes’ paled even further, fearful for Morse.</p><p>Morse’s face turned red within moments and an awful choking sound escaped his lips, he kicked against his attacker but Jakes could see that it was futile.</p><p>Jakes reached out feebly for Morse but his assailant yanked his arm and twisted it behind his back.</p><p>He moaned, feeling more blood pool in his mouth. He felt it trickle out, lips and chin stained with scarlet.</p><p>He ached all over and he did not know how much longer they would have to put up with this.</p><p>“Peter!” Jakes could hear Morse calling out for him, his voice strangled and wild as he was still being choked. </p><p>“Yes, call out for your stupid faggot boyfriend.” One of the men said.</p><p>“How would you know who we are?” Jake spat at the men, his tone cutting and brusque. </p><p>What was this was about? Why were these men attacking them? A million questions ran through Jakes’ head as he struggled against his attacker.</p><p>In response to his question, Jakes received another punch to the face and he felt light-headed. He was limp in his attacker’s grip and he didn’t have the strength to force the man off. His arm was burning with pain that radiated to his shoulder.</p><p>Jakes struggled even more, trying to get to Morse. He felt so helpless and weak and he could not bear looking at Morse suffer.</p><p>The man only held him down harder, and Jakes threw his head back in frustration but he could feel his limbs getting heavy and his adrenaline began to wear off and the pain beginning to sink in. </p><p>His vision grew blurry but he could vaguely hear Morse gulping for air. Good, that meant his attacker had released him.</p><p>Why had he? Jake thought, why not finish them off when they had the chance?</p><p>“Your type doesn't deserve to be treated well. And stop investigating if you know what is good for you” He said gruffly.</p><p>“What?” Morse said, getting up on his knees. His hair was all dishevelled and his face was flushed. </p><p>“Let him go.” The man motioned to Jakes’ attacker and he released Jakes’ arm.</p><p>One of the men spat at them, glaring at them before walking away, quickly disappearing into the darkness.</p><p>There was no point chasing after them. Not when they were beaten and bruised.</p><p>Jakes scrambled to get to his feet and went over to Morse who was massaging his abraded and sore throat. His nose was steadily dripping blood but he otherwise seemed alright.</p><p>“Morse? Morse? Are you alright? Morse?” He asked, panicked and his heart rate increased.</p><p>“Am fine, how are you? Oh God, Peter.” Morse rasped, holding Jakes tightly in his arms. </p><p>“Bloody hell. What a bunch of arseholes. Looks like someone wants us off this case and doesn’t mind getting their hands dirty.” Jakes scoffed disgustedly.</p><p>The bastards. He wanted to tear them apart with his bare hands but he was so tired. So so tired.</p><p>“Dinner’s off then?” Morse murmured, loosening his tie.</p><p>He wiped the blood off his face but only succeeded in smearing it around. The pair of them probably looked ghastly.</p><p>“Let's just go home,” Jakes said.</p><p>Morse nodded and Jakes helped him up, the pair leaning on one another for support as they stumbled back to the apartment.</p><p>Thank the heavens the streets were empty, it would have been terribly inconvenient if someone questioned them. </p><p>They reached the apartment, both slumping onto the couch, catching their breath. </p><p>Jakes looked down at his clothes, complaining about how it was ruined. He inspected himself in the mirror, noting all the wounds he had.</p><p>A gash on his temple, a split lip, bruised ribs and an aching arm. How wonderful. </p><p>His forearm was bruised purple and black, the contusion standing out against his pale skin.</p><p>His stab wounds throbbed and Jakes closed his eyes, steadying his breathing. He splashed some water on his face, grimacing as the water stung.</p><p>He could hear Morse in the shower, and Jakes called out to him softly.</p><p>“Morse? How are you?”</p><p>The water stopped, and he heard Morse's nasal voice reply.</p><p>“I’m fine, I’m more worried about you. Come here, let me clean your wounds.”</p><p>“In the shower with you?”</p><p>“Mm.” </p><p>Surprisingly, Jakes didn't feel uncomfortable or awkward. He slipped off his shirt and unhooked his suspenders and stood under the steamy water with Morse.</p><p>He didn't mind getting undressed, not when he was here standing with Morse.</p><p>His hair was wet, body dotted with crystal clear droplets and the aroma that filled the shower was his soap. That lovely refreshing fragrance.</p><p>There was a towel wrapped around his lower body, off white and clearly not expensive but it was Morse’s. Anything to do with Morse was beautiful.</p><p>Morse rubbed his finger under Jakes’ jaw, massaging the bruise. He began to clean the blood off his face, slow and tender. Morse maintained eye contact the whole time, unabashed.</p><p>Jakes smiled shyly, leaning against Morse, feeling his skinny figure and the defined bones of his. He traced the outlines of it, burning it into his mind. He ran his fingers along the ridges of his shoulder blades, thinking to himself that he would have to fatten Morse up. He was stunning though, Jakes thought.</p><p>Jakes held him tightly in his arms, feeling his wet body against his dry one, the water initially cold on his skin but warming up.</p><p>Morse pressed a kiss to Jakes’ lips, kissing him hungrily and with passion. It was incredible. </p><p>With the steam around them, the water pooling at their feet and the scent of shower gel filling the bathroom. It was like heaven once again.</p><p>“Let's get that iced. Wouldn't want that to become worse.” He murmured against Morse's lips.</p><p>“Anything you say.”</p><p>Morse exited the bathroom, giving space for Jakes to shower and do what he needed to.</p><p>Jakes stood under the hot water, sighing contentedly. </p><p>After a while, he got out of the shower, smiling at Morse as he watched him attempt to prepare dinner.</p><p>“What are you making?”</p><p>“Sandwiches.”</p><p>Jakes laughed, pushing Morse away and looking into his refrigerator. There wasn't anything inside he could work with. Sandwiches for dinner would have to do.</p><p>“Those bastards. God, I wish I could punch them right now.”</p><p>“That wouldn't help you very much. Just forget about them, Peter. We just have to be more careful now.” </p><p>Morse sat next to him with some cheese sandwiches and some whiskey. Of course, Morse would have alcohol with every meal.</p><p>Morse rested his head against Jakes’ shoulder, his golden curls tickling Jakes’ neck. They sat in silence, just appreciating the other's company. </p><p>Morse reached out for Jakes’ hand and intertwined Jakes’ fingers with his own. </p><p>He looked up at Jakes, staring into his blue-green eyes and admiring them.</p><p>“After we solve this case, do you want to go on holiday? We could go to Italy or someplace nice.”</p><p>“Well, that's if we solve the case. That should be your first priority, Morse.”</p><p>“My first priority is you.”</p><p>Jakes squeezed his hand and replied, “Likewise. Now let's discuss that cat.”</p><p>“Peter! Why do you want a cat so badly?”</p><p>“It would be fun. And it would teach you some responsibility.” </p><p>Morse scoffed, but he had a smile on his face. He pressed his face closer into Jakes and Jakes knew he was thinking hard about it. </p><p>He could feel Morse’s face scrunch up and his eyebrows furrow which was what he always did when he was contemplating. He had stared at him plenty of times to notice his habits.</p><p>“Hm, only if you take care of its litter box.”</p><p>Jakes agreed, laughing once again. It was nice to discuss the future with someone. Jakes hoped it would last. The events from a few hours ago soon became forgotten as the two men humoured one another and talked of the future.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>let me know what you thought of this chapter!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Always</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>after all the pain and drama in the previous chapters, we need some love and fluff, so that's what this chapter is!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Good morning.”</p><p>Morse woke up to find Jakes next to him, wrapped in nothing but the sheets and his underwear.</p><p>He gave a small smile, lying back down and pulling the covers over his body. He leaned towards Jakes, wanting his body heat.</p><p>Jakes swung his arm over Morse, holding him in a loose embrace.“Aren't you cold? I’m freezing.” Morse commented while running his fingers across Jakes’ shoulders.</p><p>“No, I’m good. I’m getting up, are you?”</p><p>Jakes slid out of bed, grabbing a shirt that lay on a chair and he slipped it on, buttoning it in a coquettish way.</p><p>“What day is it today?”</p><p>“Wednesday. Shall I ring the station and let them know we won't be coming in today?”</p><p>Morse sat up, staring at him in surprise. He had not expected Jakes to say this. However, he was exhausted after yesterday's ordeal and it was perfectly acceptable to take a break. </p><p>He had been working overtime the past month and he deserved some rest.</p><p>He nodded and lay back down, ready to catch up with lost sleep. He could vaguely hear Jakes speaking on the phone but what woke him up was Thursday’s sharp voice blaring out of the phone.</p><p>If he could hear it from here, it would have been extremely loud in Jakes’ ear. Poor him, Morse chuckled to himself.</p><p>“What are you two doing now? My bagman doesn’t show up and now you tell me you aren't coming in? Don't you know how worried I am? Why aren't you coming in?”</p><p>A barrage of questions was unleashed and Morse was glad he stayed in bed, Jakes could answer them and perhaps alleviate Thursday’s worry. Had Morse rung the station, he would have probably made the situation worse by expressing the information incorrectly.</p><p>“Had a run-in with some homophobic bastards. Someone's looking to get us off the case. We’re good though.” Jakes replied.</p><p>There was a long pause on the phone and Morse could sense Thursday’s underlying anger. He knew if Jakes told Thursday how these men looked like, Thursday would go on a rage-induced trip and probably kill those men. It would be best not to mention more to him.</p><p>“I’ll kill those buggers.”</p><p>Jakes lit his cigarette, the smoke wafting in the air before dissipating, taking a long drag before attempting to ease Thursday’s concerns. </p><p>“You have to be more careful. I cannot believe that that happened to you! You ought to be warier. This shouldn't happen again.” Thursday chastised him.</p><p>“Of course. Try not to worry about us, we’ll be fine sir.”</p><p>There was the click of the phone being hung up and Jakes returned into the room, updating Morse on what Thursday had said.</p><p>“You look good in the sunlight, you know,” Morse murmured.</p><p>Jakes scoffed but he did look pleased. He had lovely abs that were well chiselled and his biceps were smooth and taut. There wasn't anything wrong with this man, he was like an angel sent from heaven.</p><p>Though his stab wounds were red around the edges and the black stitches stood out against his pallid skin, he still looked glorious. Nothing could taint Morse’s views of Jakes.</p><p>“Breakfast?”</p><p>“Mm, I just need another fifteen minutes.”</p><p>“Let’s hope fifteen minutes don’t mean two hours.”</p><p>Morse let out a “tch” and faced Jakes with his back, disagreeing with his comment. Fifteen minutes would be fifteen minutes, he hoped. He didn’t want to give Jakes another opportunity to tease him.</p><p>He drifted back to sleep, feeling content and satisfied. Thankfully, he woke up within his promised fifteen minutes. He could smell something wonderful coming from the kitchen and he was impressed. However, there was a question that lingered in the back of his mind, where did he learn to do this? He would ask him later on when he had the chance.</p><p>“What have you made today?” He asked as he walked out of the room, stretching his arms and massaging the kinks in his neck. </p><p>“Scrambled eggs and sausages. Hope you are hungry.”</p><p>“Hungry for you.”</p><p>Jakes gaped at him momentarily before snickering and shaking his head in amusement. Morse knew he had gotten bolder after this time spent with Jakes and perhaps it did him some good.</p><p>He sat down at the table with Jakes, picking a small piece of egg and popping it coyly into his mouth, a lopsided and cheeky smile plastered on his face.</p><p>“What are we going to do today? Nothing about the case, I hope, my head is spinning already.”</p><p>Morse paused for a moment, looking up and thinking about what he could do with Jakes. His eyes scanned the room and remained on his stack of records. He snapped his fingers, realising what he could do.</p><p>“I’ll teach you about opera.”</p><p>Jakes laughed, it seemed like he did not take Morse seriously at first, but he then noticed the determined gaze and he stopped. He shrugged and smiled, “Well, since it’s you who is teaching me…”</p><p>Morse brightened up and he stood up, strolling over to the stack and rifling through it, his nimble fingers flitting through one record and another. </p><p>He settled on Puccini’s La Bohème, it was one of his favourites after all. He placed it into the record player and slumped onto the couch, leaning against Jakes who had already sat down. </p><p>Jakes motioned for Morse to open his mouth and he fed him some of the egg and sausages.</p><p>“You’ve got to eat more Morse! You’re stick thin!”</p><p>The grand and prominent voice of Rodolfo mingled with the lyric and florid voice of Mimì and it filled the flat as Morse began to explain the story.</p><p>“Rodolfo is a poet and he is about to go for dinner with his friends when a poor seamstress, Mimì, arrives asking him to assist her in lighting her candle. She realises she has lost her key and although Rodolfo finds it, he keeps it to himself as he wants to spend more time with Mimì.”</p><p>“Sounds like this Rodolfo knows how to get his ladies then,” Jakes snickered. He placed another forkful of egg into Morse’s mouth and he spluttered, unexpecting it.</p><p>Morse huffed, wanting to continue explaining to Jakes what was happening but was unable to due to his full mouth.</p><p> “Pete, shush! I’m speaking. However, I must say that this is delicious.”</p><p>“Alright, alright. You may continue.” Jakes put up his hands in a placating way, amused to see that Morse was getting annoyed. He had intentionally interrupted just to see Morse’s face scrunch up in the most adorable way possible.</p><p>“The two of them fall hopelessly in love with one another and he takes her with him to Cafe Momus.”</p><p>“O soave fanciulla, o dolce viso<br/>
di mite circonfuso alba lunar<br/>
in te, vivo ravviso<br/>
il sogno ch'io vorrei sempre sognar!<br/>
cingendo con le braccia Mimì<br/>
Fremon già nell'anima<br/>
le dolcezze estreme,<br/>
nel bacio freme amor!<br/>
La bacia”</p><p>Morse hummed along to Rodolfo’s aria and explained that Rodolfo is saying that he sees her in a dream and he’d dream forever. Morse paused and looked up at Jakes who was looking back at him intently, noting that Jakes seemed to be very interested and did not want Morse to stop.</p><p>The two lay together on the couch, breakfast forgotten, just appreciating the other’s company and basking in the music together.</p><p>*</p><p>“Finally, Mimì succumbs to her tuberculosis and dies, leaving Rodolfo heartbroken and in tears.”</p><p>Morse looked up at Jakes, who had tears in his eyes. He quickly rubbed them away when he noticed Morse looking at him. </p><p>“Got something in my eye.” He muttered.</p><p>“How did you like it?”</p><p>“It was an experience. Wonderful but so tragic. Are there any operas that don’t end in tragedy?”</p><p>“Not that I know of. I’ll have to think about it.”</p><p>Morse got up, stretching his back once again and working out all the kinks. “What shall we do now? We have got the whole day to ourselves.”</p><p>Jakes leapt up but immediately groaned, remembering his wounds. It had improved, Morse thought, and according to Jakes, it was nothing but a ‘dull throbbing sensation.’</p><p>“My turn to teach you something. Let’s pop over to the shops and get some things. How about that? I could teach you how to make a beef wellington.”</p><p>Morse grinned, sitting up and nodding his head.</p><p>“Let’s go.”</p><p>*</p><p>“We’ll need mushrooms, a beef fillet, puff pastry and white wine. I’m assuming you only have liquor in your refrigerator?”</p><p>Morse laughed at Jakes, who was staring intently at his list, his messy handwriting covering the small slip of paper.</p><p>“Yes, I probably do.”</p><p>Jakes tutted and began taking long strides towards the shops. Neither of them bothered with the looks people gave them, it was probably because they had purple and black bruises littering their faces but it was alright. </p><p>Morse whispered under his breath, “I wish I could hold your hand right now.”</p><p>“I wish so too. But there are too many people around, we don’t want another attack.”</p><p>Morse sighed glumly, it had been too long since he felt loved and he wanted to savour every moment he had with Jakes. He could not let him go. They stepped into the shops and began hunting for their required items. They managed to get the mushrooms at the grocer’s and the beef from the butcher but they spent forever looking for the wine.</p><p>“Where the hell is the wine? Why is the arrangement of the shops so terrible?”</p><p>“I know! This is so tough.”</p><p>The two of them stood in front of the shelves, spending five minutes scanning it up and down, left to right but they just could not find the wine!</p><p>“Think we should ask someone?” Morse suggested.</p><p>“No, no! I’ve got it.”</p><p>It was another two minutes before they found the wine. It had been in front of them the entire time. Jakes and Morse looked at one another with incredulous looks across their faces. How could they have missed it? Seven minutes spent trying to finding one bottle of wine.</p><p>“Anything special you would like to buy? We could go out for lunch.”</p><p>“Let’s drop all this at home first. Let’s head on to the pub, shall we? It’s been a while since I’ve had a pub lunch.”</p><p>Jakes nodded and they headed back to Morse’s flat. Morse thought about going to the pet store and picking out a cat with Jakes but that could be done after lunch. Despite having breakfast barely two hours ago, he was already starving.</p><p>His appetite had considerably grown the past few weeks, he suspected it was because he could not get enough of Jakes’ cooking. It had surprised him how enjoyable eating was, as he was usually content with living on a stomach full of beer and toast.</p><p> It excited him to know that Jakes would be teaching him how to cook, it made him feel like a small child baking with their mother. He sighed, reminiscing about his mother. Oh, how he missed her. He was lucky to have a father and mother figure in the form of Thursday and Win. </p><p>And now he had Jakes. He could not bear losing him. He hoped that he wouldn’t wake up and realise that this was just a dream. He reached out and gave Jakes’ hand a tight squeeze, consoling himself and confirming that this was real. </p><p>Jakes squeezed his hand back, clearly understanding that Morse was worried. Jakes had never been very expressive neither had he been very good at reading people. However, he always seemed to know how Morse was feeling. </p><p>After they kept the ingredients in the respective places, Jakes was a stickler for neatness, after all, they headed off to grab lunch, joking and talking all the way there and back.</p><p>*<br/>
The day was already dissipating into the evening and Jakes decided it was time to teach Morse. He hustled Morse into the kitchen and began spewing out instructions and Morse felt bewildered. Jakes was speaking way too fast and there was no breathing space for him to slide in with his questions.</p><p>“Chop the mushrooms...Preheat the pan...Pour the wine.” It just went on and on. Morse hoped Jakes would see his confused expression and slow down but alas, to his dismay he did not.</p><p>“Pete, I don’t have a bloody clue what you are talking about.” Morse finally blurted. </p><p>Red flushed into Jakes’ cheeks and he nervously laughed as he repeated the instructions, this time slowly and step by step.</p><p>Morse got the easy job of chopping up the mushrooms. He made sure not to slice his fingers or to massacre the mushrooms as he knew Jakes would be nagging him. He did not want to burden Jakes with more thing to do, Jakes was already like a maid, picking up after Morse. </p><p>And Morse did not want to aggravate Jakes’ wound any more, he wanted the recovery to be as smooth and quick as possible. It had already hurt him to see Jakes hurting.</p><p>He watched as Jakes heated the pan, dropping the fillet of beef into it, sizzling loudly and the aromatic scent of the herbs filling the air. Jakes moved around effortlessly, elegantly manoeuvring around the kitchen, picking up herbs and seasonings.</p><p>“When did you learn to cook? You seem to know your way around loads of things.”</p><p>Jakes seemed startled by the question, almost like he had not expected Morse to ask that question, ever. </p><p>“After Blenheim Vale. It was a coping mechanism.” He left it at that and walked over to Morse, pecking him on the cheek.</p><p>“Don’t worry about me, I’m alright. And well done on the mushrooms.”</p><p>Morse gaped at him, of course he did well cutting the mushrooms. He was Morse for heaven’s sake! He could do anything.</p><p>Morse listened carefully to Jakes’ instructions and began to fry the mushrooms, adding thyme, the wine and butter to it. Jakes wrapped his arms around Morse’s waist and Morse melted into his embrace.</p><p>“I thought about your request for a cat,” Morse began, “We could pop to the store tomorrow, after work before it closes. I was thinking we could get a ginger one.”</p><p>“Ginger? Like you? Hm, what shall we name it?”</p><p>“Pumpkin. Sound cute doesn’t it?”</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah, sounds good. Let’s get a second one. I think I will name it Cat.”</p><p>“Cat?!”</p><p>Morse was surprised after all Jakes was the one who said he wouldn’t name it anything cheesy. He could not say anything about naming it Cat.</p><p>He was speechless but nodded his head dumbly, not knowing how to argue with Jakes. </p><p>“All right.”</p><p>Jakes gave him another kiss and went back to his meat, humming tunes from La Boheme idly. Morse was glad Jakes had enjoyed it, he would definitely introduce him to more.</p><p>Jakes took over from then onwards and Morse was displeased. He was perfectly capable of spreading the duxelles and wrapping the beef in prosciutto and the puff pastry. He waved his hand around, just about to tell Jakes he could do that as well but in the end, he burnt his finger against the hot pan.</p><p>“Ow! Goddamnit, bloody pan!” He groaned, running his finger under cold water. It wasn’t that bad but it did hurt. He had dropped the pan as well and now Jakes was in a panic. The clattering had startled him and now the two men were both worrying about the other.</p><p>“How’s your finger? Are you alright?”</p><p>“Did I scare you? I’m terribly sorry!”</p><p>The two stopped and just stared at the other before breaking out in peals of laughter. Jakes slid the beef wellington into the oven and began to clean up Morse’s mess. </p><p>“Go and take a seat in the sitting room. I’ll get this cleaned up.”</p><p>Morse gave him an appreciative smile before collapsing on the couch, cradling his hand. Jakes soon came and sat next to him, teasing him about the incident.</p><p>“You insufferable bastard! Can’t you see I’m in pain?” Morse pouted, feigning hurt. Jakes gave him a playful shove, “Morse, I’m the one with three stab wounds!”</p><p>The two of them began to tussle, Morse hitting Jakes and Jakes attempting to tickle Morse. After a while, they both lay tangled together in a heap, laughing harder and harder. </p><p>Morse stared intently at Jakes’ lips and they began to make out. Morse was pushing Jakes down, knocking over the lamp and causing some of the records on the table to fall onto the floor. The two were so preoccupied that they didn’t hear the knocking on the door or the creaking of it opening.</p><p>“Matey? What’s going on?” Strange’s shocked voice filled the flat.</p><p>Morse and Jakes broke it off abruptly, staring wide-eyed at Strange, both speechless. </p><p>Morse had no idea what to say and the three of them just stared at one another and Strange broke the silence.</p><p>“Can someone please explain to me what is going on?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>what will strange say? can he be trusted to keep a secret? find out more in the next chapter ;)</p><p>the scene in the shops was taken from the film benjamin which i totally recommend watching if you haven't seen it. the chaotic duo morse and jakes need their thursdad to help them with their shopping. </p><p>let me know what you liked/disliked about the chapter in the comments, all feedback is appreciated! </p><p>thank you for all the kudos and kind words! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Lost Without You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw: brief mention of homophobia</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morse jolted upright and ran his hands through his hair, trying to smooth it down.</p><p>“Pete, I mean Jakes, came over to...to share some information about the case with me and he…”</p><p>“I tripped and fell and...he fell on me?”</p><p>Strange gaped at them, and his expression was unreadable.</p><p>“Matey, you can’t expect me to believe that! I know what I saw. Are the two of you involved?”</p><p>Jakes looked at Morse and nodded, signalling that it was alright to tell Strange.</p><p>“Yes, we are.”</p><p>Strange let out a boyish laugh and pumped his fist into the air, “I knew it! Morse was acting weird the entire time you were in the hospital!”</p><p>Morse smiled and Jakes replied in a serious tone, “But please, keep it private.”</p><p>Strange nodded frantically, “Of course. Well, I’ve got to run. See you both at the station tomorrow?”</p><p>“See you.”</p><p>The door closed and it was Morse and Jakes once again. Morse went back to kissing Jakes, savouring his taste.</p><p>“Best be careful. I’ve got a routine check-up at the hospital tomorrow. You don’t want to aggravate my wound.”</p><p>Morse groaned and pressed his lips against Jakes’ neck, sucking it and biting. Jakes melted into his grip and soft moans escaped his lips. Morse worked his way up and down, peppering the whole side of his neck.</p><p>“Goddamnit, Morse.” </p><p>Jakes could barely bring words together and he looked dazed and in ecstasy. Morse leaned away from his neck and stared into Jakes’ eyes. He had an amorous and teasing smile on his face and he whispered into Jakes’ ear.</p><p>“Take off your shirt, let me give you a massage.”</p><p>Jakes hurriedly unbuttoned his shirt and faced his back to Morse who began pressing and rubbing it. His strong fingers working its way into the kinks and knots of his back, unwinding the tension in his shoulders. He seemed to know exactly where to press his fingers and Jakes gave a soft gasp.</p><p>“I didn’t know you were so good at this Morse.”</p><p>Morse laughed, “I didn’t either.”</p><p>“I love you, Morse.”</p><p>“And I love you, Pete.”</p><p>The two of them lay together on the couch, waiting for their dinner to be ready. Both were thinking the same thing and that was how did they end up with such a wonderful life. </p><p>Jakes had found himself forgetting his fears and insecurities and nightmares of Blenheim Vale and Morse had found true love.</p><p>It couldn’t get better than that.</p><p>*</p><p>Jakes woke up early to get dressed for his checkup. He was just out of the shower when he saw the purple hickey on his neck. Morse could be absolutely feral when he wanted to. Jakes could easily cover it up with his shirt collar but he would have to take it off during the screening.</p><p>He didn’t give a damn if someone saw it though, they’d just assume he got it from some woman he picked up for the night. Most people did think he was a womaniser but little did they know the truth.<br/>
He felt a little bit of pride that he was able to keep it a secret for so long. No one, except Strange and Thursday, suspected anything. </p><p>He tied his tie quickly and strode out the bathroom, grabbing his cup of tea and calling out to Morse.</p><p>“Morse, you coming with me?”</p><p>“Yeah. Give me a while to get ready.”</p><p>Jakes smiled, looking at himself in the mirror. He looked a lot healthier, he looked less pasty and gaunt and his eye bags had become less dark.</p><p>Spending time with Morse had eased his fears and he had forgotten about Blenheim Vale most of the time. He did have his occasional panic attacks but it was less often. Plus, Morse was always there to comfort him and tell him that he would be okay.</p><p>He was glad Morse was coming with him to the hospital, he liked having company and the hospital was also a dreadful place. </p><p>It took a while for Morse to get ready but they soon left the flat and headed towards the hospital.</p><p>*</p><p>“Does it hurt when I press here? How about here?”</p><p>The doctor had removed the stitches and Jakes was pleased to hear that everything was healing well. There were no signs of infection or internal bleeding, which came as a surprise to Jakes as he’d thought the knife used to stab him was teeming with bacteria.</p><p>The wound itself was slightly red and swollen and was a little sore but Jakes didn’t mind that. It only hurt when he made sharp movements otherwise it was more of an annoying ache in his side.</p><p>The doctor had given him a funny look when he saw the hickey but Jakes didn’t care. When the doctor’s back was turned, Morse had given him a cheeky wink, clearly aware of the hickey. He’d probably intentionally done it too.</p><p>“It’s healing very nicely but if you experience any pains, do come back. I still encourage you to take your antibiotics and to change the bandage every so often.”</p><p>They thanked the doctor and walked out, both of them feeling happy after hearing the good news from the doctor.</p><p>As they were leaving the examination room, they spotted a familiar figure slipping into the records room. It was the blonde nurse.</p><p>She was looking around nervously and seemed to not want to attract attention. That was curious.</p><p>Morse and Jakes followed after her and rapped on the door. “Hello, what are you doing here?”</p><p>She jumped and glared at them. She seemed to be searching for something, a patient’s record perhaps. But if that was so, why did she look so guilty?</p><p>“Nothing that concerns you. Both of you should stop interrupting me, I have a feeling you are following me around! I shall complain to your superiors.”</p><p>Morse huffed and responded, “There’s no need to be so rude. We were just wondering what you were doing. Let’s go, Jakes.”</p><p>He could feel her watching him walk away and Jakes knew something was off with her. He had a feeling she just wasn’t right.</p><p>“Morse, how’d you feel about her? Something’s not right.”</p><p>“I agree. We could bring it up at the station later.”</p><p>As they were walking out, they noticed a man getting out of his car and looking around before walking towards the entrance.</p><p>“It’s that bloke, Coffey isn’t it? I don’t trust him either. I think they’re in cahoots with each other.”</p><p>Morse didn’t reply but he kept his eyes on the man, trailing him until he was out of sight. Jakes wasn’t sure but he believed that Morse was already spinning a tangled web of theories in his mind.</p><p>*</p><p>“Have you got the records?”</p><p>“Yes, I have. Those two coppers, I think they suspect me or something. They keep looking at me funny.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about them. I’ll take care of it.”</p><p>She smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek, and he gave her a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.<br/>
“See you later Jennifer.”</p><p>He walked out of the hospital, with the records hidden in his brown briefcase. Those two cops had to be taken care of, it seemed his last attempt did not go so well. It was time to call in a favour from his buddy at the station.</p><p>He sat in his car, smirking before driving off, a plan formulating in his mind already. He would tear them apart inside out, make them turn against one another. </p><p>Starting with the two detectives.</p><p>*</p><p>“Morse, Jakes! Good to see you back. We were just about to run through the updates in the case.”</p><p>Thursday cleared his throat and began to address everyone in the room. Jakes felt admiration for him, the confidence and authority he exuded was impressive. Jakes looked up to Thursday, he hoped to be DCI one day.</p><p>“Five victims, all with certain organs stolen. All of them were killed via stab wounds and the weapon used was likely to be a blade 10 and blade 11 scalpels. That’s all we’ve got going on for now. Anyone has anything to contribute?”</p><p>Morse cleared his throat and stood up, and Jakes looked at him and smiled. He would make a good chief superintendent in the future.</p><p>“Some of the records in the hospital had been moved and the records moved matches the victims. We saw one of the nurses rifling through them and it looked quite suspicious. If I were you, I’d start investigating her. She also has been in contact with Aidan Coffey, who was a surgeon before being terminated. I think it’s him.”</p><p>Morse looked confident of his theory and Jakes agreed with what he said but the rest of the officers in the room did not seem to believe him. They muttered to one another under their breaths and Jakes felt his temper rise.</p><p>It was a perfectly valid theory and since when had Morse been wrong? The two of them had made more progress on the case than any of these bastards.</p><p>“What makes you so sure Morse? Another hunch? Another one of your weird theories? I think you’re just throwing a name so you seem smart. Cocky bastard.”</p><p>Everyone turned their heads to face DC Kenneth Desmond. He was well-known as a troublemaker and was a shifty one. Jakes never trusted him and he always got under his skin.</p><p>“Excuse me-” Morse was just about to start justifying himself when Jakes cut in.</p><p>“Who the hell do you think you are? Have you got anything better to say? I’d like to hear what progress you’ve made, Detective Constable. That’s right, none.”</p><p>DC Desmond gave him a snide smile, “Of course you of all people would justify Morse. The two of you been sucking each other’s dicks? That’s why you’ve become so chummy, innit? Goddamned poofs.”</p><p>Jakes saw red and he punched Desmond straight in the nose. He was satisfied when he heard it crack under his knuckles. Officers began pulling him away from Desmond who retaliated with a fist to Jakes’ abdomen.</p><p>It hit him in the side and he cried out in pain. It did not fully register to him at the moment but it seemed like Desmond knew exactly where to hit him. </p><p>He grabbed Desmond’s collar and shoved him to the table, he overpowered most of the officers who attempted to restrain him. When he was furious, he was an unstoppable force.</p><p> It was chaos in the room, officers trying to break him and Desmond up, Thursday and Morse shouting for them to stop and everyone went quiet when Bright entered the room.</p><p>“What the bloody hell is going on here? This is not a circus!”</p><p>Desmond was quick to respond, “Jakes attacked me, sir! He’s bloody insane!”</p><p>Jakes fisted his shirt and brought his face closer to Desmond’s, “Don’t you dare lie. You know bloody well you deserve this.”</p><p>Morse spoke up, his voice was shaky and softer than usual. </p><p>“Jakes was just standing up for me. Desmond said some homophobic slurs to me, you see.”</p><p>Bright looked horrified, he spoke and his voice was sharp and firm.</p><p>“I shall not have any of this at my station! There is no issue with being involved in the same-sex and I want all of you to know that! DC Desmond, I shan’t have any more of that language, am I clear?”</p><p>“Yes, sir.”</p><p>Jakes let go of him and smoothed down his clothes. The two of them glared at each other and that was Thursday’s cue to dismiss everyone.</p><p>Thursday shook his head as he walked past Jakes and told him he needed to keep his temper in check. Jakes felt rather upset at that, he thought his actions were valid and suited for the moment. But then again, violence was not always the answer.</p><p>He saw Morse walking away and he ran after him. “Morse? You alright?”</p><p>Morse gave him a resigned sigh and looked up at him, and the disappointment was evident on his face.</p><p>“Peter, you didn’t have to do that. You made yourself look like a fool in there. Had you ignored him, he would have stopped bugging us but you just had to aggravate him further. Whatever happened to lay low, don’t make people suspicious?”</p><p>“What the hell Morse? He was offending you, how can you take that?”</p><p>“I don’t stand for it but I don’t run around punching everyone do I? I handle it in a better way than you. I’m sure you know that too.”</p><p>“Fuck you, Morse. I thought you would understand why I do this but clearly, you don’t. I was just trying to help you! And you call me a fool? Your theories aren’t even that good, this one was probably just plucked from thin air and half-arsed!” Jakes spat.</p><p>He was letting his temper get the better of him once again and he knew he was going to regret this but he just could not stop the words from escaping his mouth.</p><p>Morse raised his eyebrows and he replied curtly, “At least I’m not some pathetic little boy who doesn’t know when to grow up and act like a man. You need to keep your temper in check.”</p><p>He did not wait for Jakes to respond and walked away, not looking back. Had he done so, he would have seen the hurt expression on Jakes’ face. His last comment had hit the nail on the head and Morse knew it.</p><p>Jakes was speechless, how could Morse say something as heartless as that? Screw it, he was going home. To hell with the case, bloody Morse could go and solve it himself.</p><p>He walked home with his heart heavy. He hadn’t meant to say that to Morse. Maybe Morse was right about him being an immature child. Forget what the doctor said about avoiding large amounts of alcohol. He was going to drink his sorrows away today.</p><p>He headed to the pub and ordered his usual, sitting alone in the corner of the bar, taking glass after glass of the beer. His head was spinning already and he was feeling quite ill but that did not matter. Nothing did.</p><p>*</p><p>Morse was pissed off. If Jakes hadn’t attacked Desmond, it would have decreased the probability of the gossip that was spreading around the station. Morse was worried everyone would be speculating now. He sat down at his desk with his head in his hands.</p><p>He felt guilty that he had said that to Jakes. It was a cold and cruel statement and he hadn’t meant for it to come out like that.</p><p>He was not ready to go after him immediately, he figured they both needed some space. Morse sighed, he had spent the last week getting absorbed in his love life that he’d forgotten so much about the case.</p><p>He needed to learn some balance in his life. He was either constantly working or getting distracted by his personal life. He groaned, he was not as alert as he was before. Was getting together with Jakes a bad idea? Should he have done it after the case was closed?</p><p>There were so many what-ifs that ran through his mind. He hated being doubtful. He felt bad for making Jakes feel this way but if he stayed away, maybe that would help.</p><p>He’d hurt fewer people. There was only one thing he could do well and that was solving cases.</p><p>He saw Desmond walking past him with a bloody handkerchief pressed to his nose. Morse paid no attention to him and continued with his work but paused when Desmond said something snide to him.</p><p>“Looks like your knight in shining armour is gone now. Miss him?”</p><p>Morse ignored him and Desmond scoffed but walked away. Work was Morse’s life now and Jakes...well he had to figure out a way of telling him he didn’t want this.</p><p>Morse was having an internal debate about that. He had led Jakes to believe he had reciprocated his feelings, telling him that would ruin him. But if Morse stayed with him, they’d only be targeted more and it would cause trouble.</p><p>He decided he would give Jakes a parting gift. He was better off without Morse anyways. Morse sighed and got up, slipping on his coat and walking to the pet store.</p><p>He ignored Strange’s concerned call for him and tuned out the background sounds, lost in his own world.</p><p>*<br/>
“Thank you.”</p><p>He walked out of the pet store with two cats in hand. A ginger one and a black one, both of which looked snooty and well-preened. A personality like Jakes.</p><p>Morse needed to stop thinking about him, it would make letting him go a lot easier. He stood in front of Jakes flat holding the key in his hand. It did not look like he was in, which was good. He couldn’t face him now.</p><p>He placed the cats next to his table, leaving a small bowl of water in each of their cages. He picked up a pen and scribbled on a piece of paper:</p><p>“<em>Dear Peter,<br/>
I think it’s best if we spend some time apart. I don’t think I made the right decision and I’m sorry for leading you on. Hope you’ll be alright.</em></p><p><em>Regards,<br/>
Morse</em>”</p><p>He placed the note next to the cat and walked away. When he reached home, he immediately went to his decanter and poured himself a large glass of liquor. He could only hope he was making the right choice. It was better for Peter, he told himself.</p><p>*</p><p>When Jakes got home and saw the note, he raced to the bathroom and threw up. He leaned on the toilet bowl, sweat tricking down his face. After he had puked all the alcohol, he sat down, dry-heaving.</p><p>His tears mixed with his sweat as he grabbed the rim of the toilet as he puked one more time.</p><p>He could not believe Morse would do that. He thought he had found some happiness but no, his greatest fear had come true. It would never last, he was destined to be alone his whole life.</p><p>Everything Morse had said didn’t matter. It was all a lie. He wanted to spend the rest of the night on the bathroom floor but he had cats to care for.</p><p>It pained his heart as he was reminded of the conversations he had with Morse about a future. Goddamn it, he wiped his tears away furiously and stood up, legs trembling and his hands shaking once more.</p><p>What would he do without Morse now?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i nearly forgot this was a case fic as i got so swept up in their relationship! and i needed some angsty and angry morse, he makes all the bad decisions but it'll be okay!</p><p>let me know what you thought of the chapter and thanks for reading x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Kiss and Resolve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morse wasn't expecting Jakes to show up at the station the next day. He figured he would stay at his flat, too ashamed or afraid of seeing Morse, so he was very surprised when Jakes came to work. He shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions, Jakes was stronger than he let on.</p><p>He avoided Morse’s gaze and tried not to make eye contact with him but Morse could see the slight tremor of his hands and his stiff composure.</p><p>He stopped staring at Jakes and went back to his work, idly flipping through pages of the case files. He was so engrossed in it that he jumped when he heard a loud thud.</p><p>He looked up and saw Jakes talking to Desmond. Jakes’ fist was clenched, pressed firmly on Desmond’s desk, his chest rising and falling quickly and his expression was murderous. He said something softly to Desmond and he hurried away, leaving Desmond with a smirk plastered across his stupid face. Morse wanted to slap that idiotic look off his face but it wasn’t his place to do so. Morse was curious as to what Desmond had said but it wasn't his business. He had to forget about Jakes, he scolded himself. </p><p>Morse let out a low growl when Desmond sauntered over to him, toying with a silver lighter in his fingers. Morse glared at him, annoyed that he had interrupted him while he was working. </p><p>“What do you want?”</p><p>“You and pretty boy over there fell out with one another? Looks like it to me.”</p><p>“That's none of your concern. Can you please leave me to do my work?”</p><p>Desmond huffed, disappointed that he was unable to elicit a strong reaction from him. He tossed the lighter to Morse and cockily strode away, casually saying, “Picked that off him yesterday. Want to give it back?” He didn't wait for Morse’s reply and disappeared.</p><p>Morse froze, the lighter was Jakes’. His lighter with ‘PJakes’ engraved on it. The one that he had left in his flat and the same one he had given to Jakes in the hospital that day. The day when they first kissed. </p><p>Morse shook his head, trying to rid himself of the memories. He had to move on, he had to! He groaned, running a hand through his already mussed-up hair and sighing. More doubts started to creep into his mind but he tried to brush it away. Did he make the right decision by pushing Jakes away? Yes, he had! He had to stop doubting it, it certainly wasn't the time to regret his decision. He snapped out of his thoughts when Thursday called him.</p><p>“Morse? You coming with?”</p><p>“Hm? Sorry, where are we going?” </p><p>“Coffey’s place.”</p><p>Morse stood up, grabbing his coat and hurrying after Thursday. He had a chance to get more information about Coffey and he wasn't about to lose it.</p><p>As they walked towards the exit, they walked past Jakes’ desk, and Morse noted that the man looked distracted and distant, body slumped backwards and his eyes fixed on a spot on the wall with his expression more dead than alive. Had Morse not seen his inhales and exhales, he could have easily believed he was dead. </p><p>Jakes didn't make any attempt to get up and follow Thursday and he just stared and stared. That caused Thursday to look at him funnily and he stopped in his tracks, heading over to Jakes.</p><p>“Have you got a fever? Are you ill?”</p><p>“No, sorry sir. Just got something on my mind.”</p><p>He looked up at Morse for a fleeting moment, the hurt evident in his eyes. It didn't look like he slept a wink last night and Morse felt a pang of guilt.</p><p>Thursday nodded, “You’ll be staying here then?”, he raised his eyebrows, knowing how eager Jakes was to get back to work. “Yes, sir,” Jakes responded. Thursday didn't push it but he knew something was wrong. </p><p>He motioned for Morse to come along with him and Morse did, not looking back at Jakes. His mind was practically tearing itself apart, a part of him was crying out for him to reconcile with Jakes, tell him he made a grave mistake and another told him to forget about Jakes and to place work first. </p><p>“What’s going on with you and Jakes? Don’t even think of telling me that nothing is going on, the two of you are so tense!”</p><p>Morse sighed, he didn’t have a choice but to tell Thursday. “I told him that it would be best if we stayed apart for some time. I need to focus on the case.” Thursday gaped at him, “Did you bother telling him the reason why?” Morse shook his head, realising his mistake.</p><p>“He may put on his nonchalant facade but you’ve broken his heart, Morse! The second we return to the station, I want you to apologise to him right away! And forget about the case, don’t risk losing him, Morse.”</p><p>Morse remained silent, contemplating Thursday’s words. Was he being ridiculous? He should have stayed with Jakes, how idiotic could he have been! He hated himself for all the rash decisions he made. He was itching to drive back to the station and shower Jakes with his apologies but he couldn’t.</p><p>They reached Coffey’s house and they rapped on the door sharply. Coffey opened it up and heaved a sigh of irritation.</p><p> “What are you two doing here now?”</p><p>“Continuing our investigation. If you could answer a few questions for us?”</p><p>Coffey grumbled but he opened the door to let them in. He sat down, glaring at them coldly, “And? What do you want to ask?” He took a long drag of his newly-lit cigar and blew the smoke towards the pair of them. Morse cleared his throat and began.</p><p>“We’ve seen you at the hospital multiple times, yet you are not unwell, neither are you working there so what are you doing?”</p><p>Coffey raised his eyebrow, “Spying on me, are you? Well, I’m just looking to see if I can get my job back. It has been a few months already.”</p><p>“What are the chances of that though? And why would you try at the exact same hospital where everyone knows who you are?”</p><p>“That is not your concern.”</p><p>Morse was feeling aggravated and he growled out, “Don’t think we don’t know what you’re up to.” Thursday placed a hand on Morse, eyeing him warily, telling him to take it down a notch.</p><p>“I do not have any clue what you are talking about. It is not my fault if you can’t find the murderer, the police are pathetic now.” Coffey said with a glint in his eyes.</p><p>Thursday cleared his throat and said, “Apologies Mr Coffey. We shall leave now.”</p><p>Morse glared daggers at Coffey as Thursday dragged him out. Coffey waved his hand mockingly and took another drag of his cigar.</p><p>“Morse, although you may suspect him, there is no evidence to bring him in! Stop making enemies wherever you go.”</p><p>“That’s exactly what I’m doing. He knows I’m a threat and he will want to silence me. We can trap him that way. Trust me, he’ll be coming after me soon. I saw the records, all the people who have had a hand in his termination have ended up dead. But he’s enjoying himself far too much, he’s looking for fresh blood and who better than those who cross him now? And I have plenty of evidence, I’ll share my plan back at the station.”</p><p>“Hm, that makes sense. Best get back then.”</p><p>*</p><p>Jakes was feeling awful, he didn’t want to let Morse’s actions get the better of him so he came to the station. He regretted that decision because when he saw Morse, he felt like he was going to fall apart. His heart squeezed painfully, dread pooling in his stomach.</p><p>He did his best to avoid his eye contact and he hurried over to his desk. He groaned internally when Desmond walked to him. Jakes was pleased to see that he had purple bruises on his face, courtesy of his well-placed punches.</p><p>“You and Morse not sucking each other off now eh? You’re not good enough for him? Pity, Morse could have done a lot better if he was with someone like me. I could teach me how to behave.”</p><p>Jakes was so offended by that statement, how dare he say something like that about Morse! He wanted to strangle Desmond and just kill him already but he restrained himself. He did not want a repeat of yesterday and Morse would probably be even madder at him for letting Desmond provoke him. </p><p>Instead, he spoke quietly but firmly, his tone laced with venom. “None of this is your business. And you can go fuck off.” He didn’t know what else to say so he left, deciding to stop by the bathroom.</p><p>He gripped his hands, realising that they were shaking once again. He splashed some cool water on his face, gripping the edges of the sink and taking deep breaths. He had a massive hangover from the previous night and his skull felt like someone was hammering it inside out.</p><p>He went back to his desk, sitting down and fumbling in his pocket for his cigarettes and lighter. His fingers found the cigarettes but not the lighter. He cursed under his breath, he swore he had it with him. He had to be more careful, this was the second time he had lost it. He then remembered that that was the day Morse had kissed him. His heart ached, feeling the prick of tears in his eyes. He wondered if Morse was thinking about him because he couldn't get him out of his head.</p><p>He gave up looking for the lighter and stared at the wall, unsure of what to do. He wasn't given any work to do and he didn't want to disturb anyone else as he could tell they were extremely busy.</p><p>He realised Morse and Thursday had walked past him and he continued staring at the wall, not wanting to give in to the temptation of getting up and following them. He was startled when Thursday asked if he had taken ill and he told Thursday he had a lot of things on his mind, which was the truth. He just couldn't bring himself to go somewhere with Morse.</p><p>When the pair finally left, he was alone again, with only his thoughts for company. He absentmindedly began clicking a pen, a habit he had picked up from Morse. </p><p>“Jakes, you alright? I thought you were going with Thursday and Morse.” Strange said.</p><p>“Ah, no. Not today.”</p><p>“Well, they just rang to say they have a plan to catch Coffey in the act.”</p><p>“Oh.” He wasn't sure what to say but thankfully Strange filled the awkward silence.</p><p>“We're going to have a meeting. See you there?”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah I’ll be there.”</p><p>He was curious as to what the plan was but that meant he would have to face Morse. Get a grip on yourself, he chastised himself, it’s not a big deal. In and out of the meeting and that's all there is to it.</p><p>He realised Morse and Thursday had returned and he made a move to go to the office but Thursday stopped him. His eyes were warm and comforting and he said, “Morse would like a word with you.”</p><p>Jakes nodded, feeling numb. What did Morse want to say? He followed after Morse outside, shivering slightly as a cold gust of wind hit in the face.</p><p>“What do you want to say?” He asked, his voice quivering and his upper lip trembling. He was holding back the hot tears that threatened to spill down his face.</p><p>“Peter, I made a huge mistake. I’m so sorry. I thought that if we stayed apart, I could focus on the case and that we’d stopped getting picked on. But I was wrong, I need more you more than I ever thought I did. I love you.”</p><p>Jakes froze, he was not expecting Morse to say that. A small part of him wanted to say “Sorry isn’t going to change anything.” but he kissed Morse instead, pulling him closer and grabbing the nape of his neck.</p><p>“Don’t you ever fucking do this again, am I clear Endeavour?”</p><p>“Yes, sir.”</p><p>They broke apart, smoothing their clothes and hair, trying to look presentable. They headed back inside and began the meeting.</p><p>Jakes was mesmerised by Morse, he seemed so calm and composed and he carried the air of authority. It was wonderful to see him in action.</p><p>“I have a very strong feeling that it’s Coffey who has been doing this. He’ll be out looking for fresh blood so I’ve got onto his bad side. Thursday and I would like to propose that tomorrow night we catch him in the act. I will be standing alone at Kent Close and once I’ve got him in a suitable position, the reinforcements, which will be you lot, will come in and apprehend him. Wait for my signal and don’t make any rash decisions, we must approach this with the utmost caution.”</p><p>The rest of the officers in the room nodded, murmuring among themselves and agreeing with Morse’s idea. Jakes grinned at Morse, giving him a nod of approval. Morse beamed and Jakes could see Thursday was proud too. Luckily, Desmond wasn’t in the room to stir up trouble. </p><p>“You sure you’ll be alright? This plan doesn’t sound too safe to me.”</p><p>“Trust me, Peter, it’ll be alright.”</p><p>Jakes nodded, holding Morse’s hand and rubbing small circles on it supportively. </p><p>“Well, tomorrow morning we should bring that nurse to the station too. She was in on it from the start.”</p><p>“Agreed. We have some time to ourselves now so shall we head out for some dinner? We never did go on a proper date.”</p><p>“Of course. Your pick.” Morse smiled and the two of them walked out hand in hand, ignoring the stares they got from some of the officers.</p><p>They had a plan and it was going to work.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope you liked it! let me know what you thought of it :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Leap Of Faith</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morse and Jakes sat in the Jaguar together across Coffey’s house watching the door and window. It was ten minutes to seven and they had spent the entire day recapping and going through the plan for tonight.</p><p>Morse was mildly afraid but he wasn’t going to share that with anyone but Jakes. He didn’t want them to lose confidence in his plan. If they did, they might muck up something.</p><p>“Morse? He’s on the move.” </p><p>Coffey was indeed on the move. He was carrying a relatively large bag and a heavy overcoat. He hurried into the car and pulled out of his driveway, speeding past the Jaguar without pausing at all.</p><p>Morse stopped staring into open space and focused on Jakes. He gave him a small smile and gestured for him to start tailing Coffey. “Take the other route to Kent Close. We don’t want him noticing the fact that we’re following him.”</p><p>Jakes nodded and placed his hand on Morse’s thigh as a show of affection and comfort. He gave him a reassuring smile and continued to drive as he stroked Morse’s leg.</p><p>“I know you are feeling a bit worried about this whole thing but it’s going to go perfectly alright. There’s going to be loads of back-up and you can outsmart any man, Morse. I believe in you.”</p><p>Morse chuckled, holding Jakes’ hand and exhaling softly. “There was lots of back-up on the night of the last case. That didn’t turn out so good, did it? You got stabbed.”</p><p>“And I survived.”</p><p>Morse tossed his head back, licking his lips and clicking his pen. He knew that there was going to be reinforcements but he was still uncomfortable and unsure of his own plan. He didn’t mind death at first, he would have gladly accepted it but he had things to lose now. Peter, the Thursdays, Strange and all his other friends. It would be so hard on them if he died. He couldn’t do that to Peter.</p><p>They soon reached Kent Close and Jakes radioed in. “We’re here. He should be arriving soon. You lads ready?”</p><p>Thursday replied, “Yes. Get Morse out now. I think it is time to begin.”</p><p>Jakes looked at Morse worriedly and Morse took a deep breath. He straightened his tie and smoothed the creases in his suit and opened the car door. Before he left, Jakes grabbed his arm, holding him in place.</p><p>“Stay alive for me, will you Endeavour?”</p><p>He pulled Morse into a kiss and Morse gladly reciprocated, nibbling his lip and taking in his taste and smell. God, let him stay alive and well for Jakes.</p><p>He nodded silently and walked down the streets, footsteps seemingly sounding extremely loud against the pavement. His heart was hammering and his palms were clammy. He wanted to run back while he still had the chance but he had to do this. He had to.</p><p>A car drove by, headlights momentarily blinding Morse. It stopped a couple of paces behind him and he heard the door open and slam shut.</p><p>“Endeavour Morse. How are you this fine night?” The cold voice sent shivers down Morse’s spine.</p><p>He turned around, not surprised to see Coffey. He was holding a wickedly sharp scalpel and Morse could see the plastic bags and cloths in the trunk of his car.</p><p>“I’m doing very good, thank you for asking,” he responded nonchalantly. He slipped his hand into his pocket and pressed the button on his radio, signalling that the rest of the cops should start moving in.</p><p>“Empty your pockets for me. Will you?”</p><p>Morse complied, taking out his notebook, wallet and shoved the radio into his wallet when Coffey turned his head away from him. He patted his pockets and smiled at Coffey who was running his finger along the edge of the scalpel. A thin streak of blood laced the edge and slid off his finger, landing on the ground with a soft ‘splat’.</p><p>“You’re very calm for someone who is about to die tonight.” Coffey snickered, waving the scalpel around as he advanced towards Morse.</p><p>Morse kept his belongings into his pocket and maintained his composure and didn’t move an inch, glaring at Coffey. “What makes you so confident that you’re going to kill me?”</p><p>Coffey laughed, the sound inhumane and gravelly. He licked his teeth, a horrific grin on his face. He stopped walking and fished in his pocket for something. Morse stiffened and prepared himself to start running.</p><p>“That’s because I’m doing things a different way tonight.”</p><p>Without warning, a fired a shot into the air. Bloody hell, he had a gun! Morse took off right away, abandoning his initial plan of staying still. He grabbed his radio out of his pocket and said as loudly as he could, “He’s got a gun, I’m leading him back to the meeting point. You better be there!”</p><p>He could hear Coffey chasing after him and Morse’s breaths came out in short pants, his legs had begun to ache and he heard another shot being fired, causing him to flinch and duck. Thankfully, it missed and Morse kept sprinting until he reached the alley.</p><p>It was a dead-end and he skidded to a halt, pressing his back against the wall. Coffey sauntered closer to him, twirling the gun on his finger.</p><p>“You weren’t expecting that, were you?”</p><p>Morse shook his head, damn it, he should have brought a gun with him. It would have been so much easier to restrain Coffey if he did.</p><p>“You’ll be sorely missed.”</p><p>Coffey raised the gun and fired a shot. Morse placed his head in his heads and ducked, shutting his eyes as he imagined being hit by the bullet. It never came. </p><p>He opened his eyes tentatively and saw Coffey on the ground, being restrained by two officers. He breathed a sigh of relief and stumbled over to Jakes and Thursday.</p><p>He stole the cigarette from Jakes’ lips and took a deep drag, exhaling the smoke and trying to regain a sense of calm and stop his racing heart. Jakes raised his eyebrows and looked at him incredulously. He clearly wasn’t expecting Morse to do that.</p><p>“Remind me to keep a gun on hand at all times. He almost had me there.”</p><p>“I thought you said the plan was flawless,” Thursday muttered.</p><p>“I did. I didn’t factor in the gun. I thought he would be using the scalpel.”</p><p>“We got him now so that’s good. Celebratory drinks?” Jakes piped in, snatching the cigarette back from Morse.</p><p>“We’ll get the nurse tomorrow morning. I think we deserve a break.”</p><p>Thursday nodded and informed the officers of a couple of things before sliding into the Jaguar.</p><p>Jakes pulled Morse into the darkness and gave him a kiss. “I can finally breathe knowing that you are alright. I love you, Morse.”</p><p>“I love you too Peter. I thought I wasn’t going to make it.”</p><p>“You did, and that's what matters. Now, let's go grab that drink."</p><p>Morse nodded and watched as Coffey was put into the cop car, he was still glaring at Morse and mouthing words but that didn't matter to Morse. They finally caught the murderer and the town would be safe once more for a short while. He knew it wasn't going to be long before another case popped up but he could enjoy his free time while it lasted.</p><p>He sat in the car and stared out the window, feeling a sense of satisfaction. Peter was safe too, Coffey wouldn't be stabbing or going near him anytime soon.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>plot twist, the plan worked. this fic is coming to an end soon and i feel a little sad about it but happy at the same time. i hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, even though it was a little bit shorter. </p><p>i know i updated this a lot longer than i said i would but it's here! keep an eye out for the next chapter :)</p><p>thanks for reading x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Just Kiss Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It probably wasn’t the lack of heating in the police station that gave Morse the chills. Sitting across Coffey made him feel like his skin was itching and that a million eyes were on him. The man had been completely silent since they had brought his into custody and his piercing eyes watched Morse’s every move. He rubbed the back of his neck, wishing Jakes was next to him. It was a pity he was filling up papers outside.</p><p>The iron door swung open, a ‘thud’ resonating throughout the room and Morse involuntarily jumped, the loud sound came as a surprise after a long period of silence.</p><p>Thursday walked inside the room, a grim expression on his face. Jakes was hot on his heels, smoothing back his hair in that ridiculous way. Morse immediately felt better, at least he was not alone with <i>him</i>.</p><p>“Mr Coffey, did you have any accomplices who assisted you while you committed your crimes?” Thursday asked.</p><p>Everyone knew the answer but they had to ask him, just for confirmation. He smiled, a grotesque grin and snarled at him, his voice gravelly and eyes feral. Jakes stiffened a little and Morse discreetly reached out to hold his hand. Coffey probably said something to him in that tone on the night he got injured or something.</p><p>“That nurse at the hospital. She gave me access to all the hospital records and files. She knew what she was doing, poor darling was smitten with me. I had her wrapped around my little finger.”</p><p>“So you used her?” Jakes scoffed, crossing his arms and glaring at Coffey.</p><p>“Hm. I wouldn’t say that I used her. She was of some assistance and I suppose she was bearable. She certainly was a liability though.” Coffey hummed, not bothered by Jakes’ demeanour.</p><p>“I did tell her to try and get your attention. Kill you off for me and I’d have one less detective to deal with. Too bad you were a little fairy and took no interest in her! Now, that surprised me but then again the two of you aren't even predictable.”</p><p>Morse felt heat rush to his cheeks. He was not flushing because he was embarrassed but was so angry. He wanted to tear Coffey apart right then and there. How dare he? Coffey could rot in prison and Morse would not give two shits. </p><p>“No one could end you! The men I hired to beat you up and neither could the mole in the station. Pathetic.”</p><p>“You don’t have to act so secretive. We all know the mole is Desmond. He’s already in custody.”</p><p>Coffey was unfazed and he gazed at his fingernails, picking at the dirt underneath them. Morse knew that some of it was probably blood, another group of officers had raided his home and found all the organs, carefully packaged and an array of surgical items.</p><p>“Well now, why did you do it?” Morse asked, even though he knew the answer already.</p><p>“For the fun of it. I hated those people, they humiliated me when they made the decision to fire me and I gave them what they deserved.” He said with a manic glint in his eye.</p><p>“You attacked someone. You weren’t accurate while performing surgery, people’s lives were at stake! And you got upset at that? It was your own fault.” Jakes leaned forward and snarled, clearly annoyed by his response.</p><p>Thursday put out a hand to calm him down and looked to Morse who caught on. He got up and stood by Jakes.</p><p>“Hey, it’s fine. He’s going to be locked up.” He whispered under his breath.</p><p>“I know,” Jakes sighed, “But I still don’t understand why he would do it. So he got fired, big deal. Then he just goes about stealing the organs of people who made the decision to fire him? It’s disgusting.”</p><p>“He’ll get what he deserves.”</p><p>Thursday stood up, chair scraping against the floor and made a move to leave and Morse, not willing to spend another second here, followed suit.</p><p>”Goodbye Endeavour. I do hope to see you again.”</p><p>Morse ignored that comment, pretending it didn't affect him but his stomach twisted itself into a knot. Please keep us safe, he thought to himself.</p><p>As they were walking out, they saw the nurse sitting in another cell, arms crossed and frowning. The moment she spotted Jakes and Morse, she rushed towards them and began shouting.</p><p>“You bastards! I’m innocent, innocent you hear me?”</p><p>Of course she wasn’t, and they knew that. Morse looked to Thursday and asked, “What’s next?”</p><p>Thursday smiled and pointed towards Jakes. “I think you should talk to him. The interactions the two of you have had over the past few days have been so rushed! Morse, he’s a keeper, you will really want to make it work. Half the station’s rooting for you.”</p><p>Morse thanked Thursday and scurried towards Jakes. He lit his cigarette and blew a puff of smoke that Morse waved away with his hand.</p><p>“You’re going to get lung cancer if you keep this up.”</p><p>“Ah, Morse, you worry too much.”</p><p>“No, I just want you to be safe.”</p><p>The corner of Jakes’ mouth twitched, a small smile forming on his face. He crushed his cigarette under his shoe and held Morse’s hand. </p><p>“Let’s get out of here. Let’s go on a walk together.”</p><p>Morse tried to protest, “But Pete! We have to- ” He could barely finish his sentence before he was dragged off out of the station and into the chilly air of the outside.</p><p>“But where will we go?” Morse cried, stumbling over his feet before Jakes let go of him so he could regain his balance.</p><p>“To the pub,” He rolled his eyes, “No, we are going to the park.”</p><p>Morse followed Jakes, shouting at him to slow down. God, the people around them probably thought they were bickering like two five year olds at a playground but Morse liked to think they bickered like two married lovers. He’d pop the question one day. He knew he would.</p><p>*</p><p>“Don’t you love the feeling of the breeze on your face?” Jakes asked as he pulled Morse down to the ground.</p><p>“Of course I do. Peter! You’re getting your shirt all muddy!” </p><p>Jakes lay on his back, white shirt contrasted against the greens and browns of the muddy grass.</p><p>“Don’t be such a wet blanket. They don’t need us at the station now, trust me. We don’t have to go back there today.”</p><p>Morse finally relented and lay next to him, the dewy grass did feel rather comfortable and he was glad to be next to Jakes.</p><p>“This is nice.” He said, reaching out to interlace his fingers with Jakes’.</p><p>Jakes agreed with him and they were both silent, just enjoying one another’s company. Morse suddenly had an idea, he knew what he would do that night to surprise Jakes and he knew the man would love it.</p><p>“Peter?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Jakes opened his eyes and turned to face morse, “I love you too. You really like saying those words, don’t you?”</p><p>“Just want to make sure you know.”</p><p>Jakes pecked him on the cheek and moved closer towards him. Morse smacked him away playfully, “Hey. Let’s not get the cops called on us, yeah?”</p><p>Jakes chuckled and moved back to his original position. He looked at Morse dead in the eye and said something that made Morse’s heart flutter and caused his cheeks to colour.</p><p>“I don’t care if I get arrested as long as I get to see your face.”</p><p>“I’m taking you home right now, Peter. There’s something we should do together.”</p><p>Jakes eyes lit up and his mouth parted slightly in surprise. Morse pulled him up and they headed home together, both anticipating what would happen there.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Any guesses as to what they'll be doing at home? Stay tuned for the next and final chapter which will be up on the 12th of October, Monday. Chapter 14 is just a playlist so that will be up on Monday too! Love you lot so much and thanks for sticking with me and this story and for putting up with the time it takes for me to update! </p><p>Stay safe and I wish all of you the best xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Infinity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Smut ahead! It is not too in depth but take note the rating has been changed to M just in case! I'm still working on writing smut so this probably isn't the best but I hope you enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morse pulled Jakes through the door and shut it softly. Jakes reached out to turn on the lights but Morse stopped him from doing so, instead leading him into the bedroom, helping to maneuvre him around the furniture in their way.</p><p>“Morse? What are we-”</p><p>Jakes was stopped mid-sentence when Morse put out a finger and placed it on his lips, quietly shushing him and pushing him so that he lay on the the bed on his back. He begun to unbutton Jakes’ shirt, smiling when he recognised it. The very shirt that he had lent Morse when he was stabbed by Mason Gull. </p><p>Jakes was completely silent but he let Morse’s nimble fingers do the work and little breathy gasps had begun to leave his slightly parted lips. When Jakes’ shirt was undone, Morse let him remove the rest of clothes while he did the same. He threw his clothes over the nearby armchair and pushed Jakes’ so that he fell backward, all the while maintaining eye contact.</p><p>He wrapped his arms around the other man, avoiding the beautiful scars on his abdomen and began sucking on his pallid neck. Quiet whimpers left the taller man’s mouth and Morse kept at it, even though it was only his first time doing this.</p><p>Jakes ran his hand along Morse’s back, fingers trailing the ridges of his spine and the smooth curve of his posterior. He loved the feeling of Morse’s teeth nipping at his skin, some tender and gentle, others full of lust and hunger. It was his first time doing this with a man and it was far better than any sex he had had before. He felt euphoric and when Morse moved on to bite his ear, Jakes moaned. His fingers stroked Morse’s hair and he loved to feel the curls that twisted and turned in so many directions.</p><p>He let himself be moved by Morse and he could feel his member getting harder. Even in the darkness, he could see Morse was getting harder too. A few strokes and Jakes could probably come already just by looking at his partner. </p><p>He bent over and he heard the sounds of Morse’s slicking himself. He was trembling with excitement and Morse’s husky “Are you ready?” turned him on even more. Morse placed his hands around Jakes’ hips, holding on tightly before inching forward.</p><p>A gasp escaped Jakes when he felt it enter. It felt so foreign yet he loved how gentle and tentative Morse behaved. It was a very interesting experience and Jakes was in heaven.</p><p>Morse began to thrust, deep movements that Jakes thought would hurt but surprisingly did not. He moaned when Morse hit his prostate for the first time and now that the other man knew where it was, he kept at it, grunting softly as he did so.</p><p>After a few moments of hitting the sweet spot, Jakes was ready to orgasm. He managed to tell Morse in a strangled voice, “I think I’m going to come.” before shuddering as it wracked his body, causing him to buck and move closer to Morse.</p><p>“My God, you’re beautiful.”</p><p>Morse pressed kisses to his back, relishing in the shivers and quivers of the man beneath him and he knew he needed to come too.</p><p>“May I?” He asked, not wanting to make Jakes feel uncomfortable.</p><p>A nod was all the confirmation he needed and he released into Jakes, a husky lewd moan leaving his lips. He collapsed on top of Jakes, sweaty and sticky and the two of them were silent for a moment. He freed himself from the entanglement of limbs and lay facing Jakes whose face was red and a silly smile on his face.</p><p>“Endeavour, that was fantastic.”</p><p>“You did great, honestly I had no clue what I was doing.”</p><p>Jakes laughed and Morse stroked his hair and face, pulling him up to a sitting position and kissing him passionately. He pressed his forehead against Jakes and he murmured lovingly to the other man.</p><p>“I love you so much Peter. I would give up anything in the world if it meant I could spend eternity with you.”</p><p>“I love you too. You’re mine and I’m yours, truly.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ohmygod, this fic is complete. This is such a huge moment for me as this was one of my first pieces of writing and it was crazy how many people liked it. I was so touched by all the comments left and I love to see them in my inbox, the best part of writing this fic was the interactions with you readers! </p><p>I made so many new friends through writing this fic and I am so grateful for the experience. the endeavour fandom is so welcoming and sweet and I really appreciate you guys "adopting" me &lt;3 I really hope all of you enjoyed this fic and I'll definitely be writing more Jarse, Boxfancy and other endeavour ships!</p><p>Thank you so much everyone!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Jarse Playlist</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here are the songs from my Jarse playlist which I used as the titles for each chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>safety pin- etham<br/><i>"i'll pick up the pieces you're in<br/> i'll always be your safety pin"</i></p><p>promise- mark diamond<br/><i>"just say the word, i'll be there, i promise"</i></p><p>tell me that you love me- james smith<br/><i>"will you whisper in my ear <br/>those three words i wanna hear?"</i></p><p>butterfly repose- zabawa<br/><i>"darling, i'm right here<br/>  close your pretty eyes <br/>  my butterfly"</i></p><p>lay by me- ruben<br/><i>"lay by me, <br/>i still care, <br/>when you need, <br/>lay by me"</i></p><p>hold me while you wait- lewis capaldi <br/><i>"won't you stay a while? (hold me while you wait)"</i></p><p>they don't know about us- one direction <br/><i>"they don’t know i've waited all my life <br/>just to find a love that feels this right"</i></p><p>dark paradise- lana del rey<br/><i>"no one compares to you, <br/>i'm scared that you <br/>won't be waiting on the other side"</i></p><p>always- isak danielson<br/><i>"through the highs and the lows, we'll be always"</i></p><p>lost without you- freya ridings<br/><i>"you were the only safe haven that i've known"</i></p><p>wildfire- seafret<br/><i>"we are bound to each other's hearts, <br/>caught, torn and pulled apart"</i></p><p>describe- perfume genius <br/><i>"ooh, his lovin' felt like ribbons"</i></p><p>kiss and resolve- the Maccabees <br/><i>"lovers kiss, <br/>let's kiss, <br/>kiss and resolve"</i></p><p>infinity- jaymes young<br/><i>"i'm gonna make this last forever<br/>don't tell me it's impossible"</i></p><p>the truth- james blunt<br/><i>"and i'm not tryna find somebody<br/>'cause no one else but you will do"</i></p><p>just kiss me- christopher <br/><i>"just kiss me, baby, <br/>help me make it through the night"</i></p><p>toothpaste kisses- the Maccabees <br/><i>"so with toothpaste kisses and lines, <br/>i'll be yours and you'll be..."</i></p><p>leap of faith- christopher <br/><i>"there's choices you make, <br/>only once in your life"</i></p><p>every song for you- isak danielson <br/><i>"i just want to be staying in my mind with you, <br/>that is all i need"</i></p><p>on the floor- perfume genius<br/><i>"how long 'til this heart isn't mine?"</i></p><p>midas- skott<br/><i>"oh, how i wish that there was a way that we could always, <br/>always live for always <br/>'til we die together"</i></p><p>head swim- fionn regan<br/><i>"i'm in the head swim<br/>waitin' for you by the foyer light"</i></p><p> </p><p>the link for the playlist is <a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6auWw6osNP3fKAOv16I3dZ?si=yWR8hwTyRtqnINplPwaSoA">here</a>.</p>
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